Good morning, Dear Readers!
While not divulging the details, something called my attention today to invalidation. Again. It’s something I have dealt with way too often in my life. A good article on the topic of invalidation can be found here:
In my experiences, I have heard so many comments like, “It could be worse,” “You think that’s bad? At least you haven’t been through *fill in the blank* like I have!” or “But that’s your MOTHER!” Today it just hit me just how many times I’ve also been told to “be strong,” “Be the bigger person,” or, “You just need to understand her better.” Those kind of statements are just as damaging & invalidating! They basically all say the same thing- that I need to suck it up, Buttercup- take the abuse & stop whining about it!
No one needs to tolerate abuse. No one.
If someone is brave enough to tell you that they are being mistreated or abused, then for the love of all that is good & holy in this world, think about what you say to them!!! Don’t act like it’s no big deal. Even if it’s not to you, it obviously is to that person! That person needs understanding & support, & telling them to “suck it up” or other similar statements is NOT understanding or supportive! In fact, you will do more harm to that person if you say something so unfeeling, & damage your relationship.
I’m already thinking my book, “Emerging From The Chrysalis” that I finished in October, is going to be elaborated on soon.. a second edition, going into more details.