March 23, 2013

Good morning, Dear Readers!  I hope this post finds you well today.

Again, I’m sorry for not posting more often.  It’s been a rough month.  Losing our dog on Feb. 21 was so painful, & the Complex PTSD has been really rough lately.  Maybe the grief has made the symptoms flare up.  I’ve been trying to be gentle with myself & recover, so writing hasn’t been happening.

I’ve noticed something lately that has irked me to no avail.  Selfishness.  As many of you know, I grew up with a narcissistic mother, so selfishness is nothing new to me.  However, lately, for some reason, it has made me so angry!  

Selfishness is at the root of a lot of awful, hurtful behavior.  As an example, in my post on February 23, 2013, I mentioned some of the heartless comments I heard after our dog passed.  I believe selfishness is at the root of them- my grief made some people uncomfortable, so they said stupid comments, thinking that would make me “get over it”  or stifle my grief, & they could be comfortable again.

Selfishness also is at the root of bad behaviors, such as the person who calls you only to gripe about their problems, & never asks how you’re doing.  It’s also the reason that people married to a narcissist will turn the angry narcissist’s attention to their child- so the child will be the focus of the narcissist’s bad behavior instead of them.  Meanwhile, this causes tremendous damage to the child’s mental health.  I should know- I’m living proof of this one!

The point is, there is a reason the Bible speaks against selfishness!  It is very damaging to relationships & the mental health of those of us on the receiving end of it.  I love Philippians 2:1-4 in the Message translation:

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”

Isn’t that beautifully said?  It makes me want to be very aware of thinking of others rather than myself.  I hope it encourages you to do the same.  

I encourage you today to think of how you can bless others.  Smile at a stranger.  Tell your spouse how glad you are to be married to him or her.  Hug your kids (furry or human!) for no reason.  Complement freely.  Offer help to someone having trouble.  Be aware of the needs around you, & see if you can meet those needs.  If you are worried about being taken advantage of, then pray.  Ask God to help you discern who to help, & who not to help.

Lastly, while you’re blessing others, don’t forget to bless yourself.  Do a little something nice just for you, too!  Watch a movie you’ve been wanting to see with a bowl of popcorn.  Go to lunch with a friend.  Buy yourself a little something.  

Have a great day, Dear Readers.  May God bless every single one of you!  🙂

 

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5 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health

5 responses to “March 23, 2013

  1. Karen

    🙂 you always make me smile, thanks friend ❤

    Like

  2. Karen

    Lastly, while you’re blessing others, don’t forget to bless yourself. Do a little something nice just for you, too! Watch a movie you’ve been wanting to see with a bowl of popcorn. Go to lunch with a friend. Buy yourself a little something.

    Have a great day, Dear Cynthia! May God bless you ALSO! 🙂

    ♥ -karen* “Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.”

    Like

  3. Thank you Karen! ❤ you my friend!!

    Like

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