December 10, 2013

Good afternoon, Dear Readers!

I’m sorry for not posting lately.  I had a nasty flashback last Friday night, then had to go out twice on Saturday which set the agoraphobia off like mad.   That left me extremely frustrated since I used to be very independent, in addition to the anxiety & depression that this was happening.  I’ve been recovering since.  I am exhausted, physically & mentally, as usual.  Makes it hard to focus on writing anything.  

Apparently it also makes reading more challenging than normal.  I’ve had a tough time reading for a while now- after a while, the words pretty much blur together on the page.  But after flashbacks or bad days, it’s even harder.  From what I’ve read, that is a normal part of C-PTSD & PTSD.  This is so frustrating since I love books.  And, I just got Stephen King’s sequel to “The Shining”, “Dr. Sleep.”  You have no idea how much I want to finish this book & find out what happens!  

I’m trying different things to deal with these common problems with C-PTSD.  As for recovery after flashbacks, I think rest is the best thing.  Being lazy- watching movies, gardening, knitting.  Activities that I enjoy but don’t require a lot of effort on my part help me.  Avoiding stressful activities, such as going to a crowded store are also important.  

As for the reading problem, I’m having to learn to take it in small steps.  I used to read an entire book in an afternoon.  Now?  A while, then take a break, read some more, take a break.  It makes it less frustrating if I stop as soon as the “blurring” starts.  

I’ve learned something else.  This is the most important thing- I saved the best for last.  When symptoms flare up, whatever the symptoms are, it is best to get quiet.  During those quiet times, God gives me creative ways to deal with the symptoms.  He taught me about ways to ground myself during a flashback before I read anything about grounding techniques.  

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health

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