Good afternoon & happy new year! I hope you’re enjoying 2014 so far. 🙂
I just thought I’d share a little something…
A few days ago, I was so frustrated with myself. I want to finish the book I’ve been working on for a while, but I am having such trouble writing it! I can think of where I want the story to go, but can’t seem to get that from my mind to the document. My brain just doesn’t work like it once did thanks to Comlex PTSD, & it is so frustrating. Add in the stress associated with the holidays, & I’ve really had a rough time trying to write. I’ve barely touched the book in weeks because of this.
I was praying about it the other day & God spoke to my heart something that I believe may benefit you as well as it did me.
I told God I don’t want to be just a housewife- I feel useless. It’s bad enough I was forced out of the work force when I was 19, but I thought I could at least write. It’s a job, & it’s something I enjoy to boot. Lately though? It’s been frustrating & unproductive. (Yes, I was whining.. I admit it!) God spoke to my heart in that knowing feeling as He always does & reminded me that although I’m currently not cranking out lots of books, I’m taking care of 9 of His precious cats & 1 dog, which means the world to them, as well as to Him. If it wasn’t for my husband & I, these sweet furbabies might not be alive today. (Not trying to brag at all here- just stating facts. Most of our cats were feral, & our dog was rescued from a puppy mill.) Ok, I’m not saving all of the animals in the world, but I’m helping 10 of them, which is pretty good! Including my precious cat, Pretty Boy, who has diabetes & liver problems & many people would have euthanized him long ago. Instead, God entrusted him to my care & that of an absolutely awesome vet, & he is thriving in spite of his health concerns!
God also reminded me that writing in this blog helps people- to know they aren’t alone, or aren’t the only one experiencing certain things. Going through what I do with Complex PTSD is helping others to learn that they may also have this disorder, or, if they are unsure what is wrong, discussing my experiences may help them to understand what is going on. I also share what helps me, which in turn helps others.
If you too are feeling useless, or like you don’t make a difference, I believe God wants me to tell you the same thing He told me- little things do make a difference. Don’t underestimate yourself! Even if the only thing you do all day is smile at a stranger on the street, that makes a difference! For all you know, that person could be contemplating suicide, & your smile showed him that someone really DOES care that he exists. If you still are in doubt, ask God to show you how you’re making a difference, & what your purpose is (or I should say, purposes are- we all have many purposes!). And remember, purposes can change. For example, you may be called to be a wife & mother, but those children will grow up one day. Then your purpose will change.
Just remember, you are loved & special, & no one can fill your shoes. You are valuable to God, & to your fellow man!
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 