I just purchased a book the other day called, “The Post Traumatic Disorder Relationship.” It explains the disorder, & how the spouse of someone with PTSD can help as well as cope (it isn’t easy living with someone with mental health problems!). My husband said he would read it, & although I am excited, I am also nervous…
The traumas that caused me to have Complex PTSD also taught me from a very early age to handle all problems on my own, never “burden” anyone by asking for help, & that no one wants to help me anyway. The thought of having my husband’s help with anything more significant than opening a jar with a tight lid is terrifying to me. It also makes me feel guilty because I know my husband has plenty of his own things to deal with right now. I already feel like a burden. *sigh*
If I had my way, I’d just continue on as I have been, coping & working on getting healthier on my own. But, I’ve been sensing God wants me to reach out to my husband a bit more lately, which is where the book came into play. I am less than thrilled with this! I also know that God has a reason for wanting me to do this. I am guessing to help me break those old thought patterns I mentioned in the previous paragraph, as well as to teach him to be more compassionate. Good lessons to learn, yet scary for me, too. There is a degree of comfort in what is familiar, even when the familiar isn’t healthy.
God is so good though- He will take you out of what is dysfunctional & move you into what is best for you.
If you too are in a transitioning place, I encourage you to do what I am doing- trust God. He only has your best interests at heart, & He loves you so very much. Ask Him to show you what to do in the unfamiliar, to strengthen you & to help you however you need it. It will be worth it! I don’t know yet what is going to happen in this situation with me, but I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the fear & uncertainty I’m currently feeling will be well worth it as I follow His leading!