Yesterday, my narcissistic mother called me. Always interesting to say the least, but most especially when she ends her silent treatment to call me. I think I managed to get in about 10 words during the entire 45 minutes we were on the phone…
Yesterday’s motive for the call was, among other things, to tell me about the great things her cousin’s son does for her. What a good & generous son he is! The underlying message was clear as day, especially since she tells me the same things about him nearly every time we talk- I need to be more like her cousin’s wonderful son. I need to do more for my mother. However, as anyone with a narcissistic parent knows, nothing is ever enough.
For a long time, I felt guilty because I’m not good enough, according to my mother. I know I’m a huge disappointment to her in a great many ways. I don’t call my parents or suggest we get together. My mother doesn’t approve of my home, career, pets, tattoos or even my car. It’s been very hurtful knowing my mother feels this way about me.
I am very happy to say though, that God has set me free from that pain. When praying one day, God showed me that I do my best regarding my parents, & that is all He asks of anyone. He is proud of me for doing my best even when it isn’t easy. And as for my life choices that my mother disapproves of? So what? I have to live my life the way I believe God wants me to, not how anyone else does.
This is what I believe God wants me to tell you too, today. God loves you, & is so proud of you. If you are reading this, & you too have abusive parents who don’t approve of you or make you feel not good enough, know that God says you ARE good enough! He is so proud of you! If you are trying to have a relationship with those parents, God is proud of you for that too! It’s so painful dealing with abusive parents, no matter your age. Or, if you have ended the relationship with them, He is still proud of you! You tried hard- people never get to that place of severing ties easily.
So please, don’t think about the disapproval of your parents- instead focus on God’s love for you, & how proud He is of you. Psalm 27:10 says that when your parents forsake you, God will take you in as His own child. The more you focus on that, the happier & more peaceful you feel.