Thank you so much to everyone for your support & kind words this past week. Losing my sweet Georgie then my aunt four days later has been really rough.
Grieving is always painful & difficult, but it’s even harder for me since the C-PTSD fully developed two years ago. C-PTSD seems to exaggerate the normal grief depression, & my anxiety levels are very high. My short term memory is worse than usual, & I’m having more trouble than usual finding words. Just getting through each day is a challenge, because frankly, I’d rather crawl into bed & not come out for a long time. And, tomorrow, I have to drive my father & I an hour one way to my aunt’s memorial service. That doesn’t help the anxiety! I haven’t driven this or any busy highway in probably eight years, so yes, I am panicky.
In spite of how I feel, though, I know God will keep enabling me to get through this hard time. I’m grateful for that. I don’t know how I’d survive right now if it wasn’t for God in my life. He’s even helped me to make some progress on my new book about narcissistic mothers. Usually when I’m grieving or the C-PTSD is flaring up, I can’t work. It’s awesome to me I’ve been able to work at all this past week.
And, the funny part is, I haven’t been praying as much as usual. I withdraw from everyone, even God, during bad times. Thankfully, He understands that, & obviously loves & cares for me anyway.
God is so good! He is so loving, gentle, understanding & kind. If you haven’t thanked God for His love today, I’d like to encourage you to do so now. If you aren’t feeling loved for some reason, then think about what has been going on in your life lately. I bet you can think of little ways that God has shown He loves you. If not, ask Him to show you. And, when you see those things, let Him know how grateful you are. It not only pleases God to hear that, but it makes you feel good, too. A grateful heart, aware of God’s blessings & unfailing love, is a happy heart. It also strengthens you to make it through the hard times, which is what’s happening with me right now.