C-PTSD & Physical Symptoms

Good evening, Dear Readers.

Thank you as always for your patience with me during this difficult time.  When I am going through things, I deal with it by hibernating.  I’ve always coped alone; it’s an old habit.  Suddenly I realize time has passed, & I haven’t blogged in a while.  Oops..

Since my last entry, I have been sick.  Apparently, all of the very painful events of late along with anxiety over the drive to my aunt’s memorial service took a toll on me.  As a result, I couldn’t go to her service.  I want to go- my aunt meant a lot to me plus I love seeing my family – so I was very disappointed.

I hadn’t realized this could happen.  Usually stress means I get headaches, muscle aches, my back may hurt intensely, even though it isn’t injured or I get a mildly upset stomach.  Not this time- I was sure I’d caught a bug.  I was very nauseous & unable to eat for a couple of days.  I had a slight fever, & every part of my body hurt.  I had constant hot & cold flashes. Thankfully it’s all improving, but still..wow.  I realized it was anxiety when I was starting to improve, then a person I find stressful emailed me, & my symptoms immediately got worse.

If you have  physical reactions to anxiety &/or depression too, know you are not alone!  I know first hand how annoying it can be.  Missing my aunt’s service & not seeing my family that I love dearly hurt me.  It also made me feel hypocritical since my last blog entry, I said I was trusting God to calm my anxiety enough that I could make the hour long drive down home  for the service. 

Instead of focusing on those things, though, I am trying to remember that it’s OK.  My family understands.  Also, C-PTSD is a real sickness with real symptoms.  This sort of thing happens sometimes.  It just means I need to take better care of myself, & be gentler & more understanding with myself.  One thing I’ve noticed about many of us with C-PTSD is we do have trouble with those things.  Maybe from growing up with the knowledge our needs mattered to no one.  It’s a faulty belief- one that we must work on changing so we can take proper care of ourselves.  We are worth it! ❤