Arguing with a narcissist is among the most frustrating things a person can do. You’re always wrong, overreacting, unreasonable or reading into things. They also love the game of staying calm while infuriating you, so when you yell, they look like the sane one & you look crazy. They won’t hesitate to point this out either. They employ gaslighting, saying things didn’t happen the way you think they did, or things didn’t happen at all. This is to make you doubt your perception of what really happened. I think the narcissist wants it to happen something like this:
(Watch video at 3:15-3:45)
When this happens, don’t worry- you are NOT crazy! You are NOT overreacting or anything else the narcissist says to you. The narcissist is the one with the problems. You are merely responding normally to an excessive amount of crazy making.
You need to protect your mental health, which isn’t always easy with a narcissist. Stay as calm as you can, otherwise the narcissist will turn into the victim of your “unreasonable” anger. Then step away from the argument. Leave the room or hang up the phone. Refuse to allow it to continue, because the longer it continues, the more the narcissist is convinced she is the victim, not you, & the more damage she can do to you.