“But That’s Your Mother!” And More So-Called Wisdom

Hello, Dear Readers!

I just thought I’d share part of a conversation I had with a very good friend yesterday…

I told her about some of the things I’ve heard from those with good relationships with their moms. I’m sure you other daughters of narcissistic mothers know these lines too…

But that’s your MOTHER!”
“She won’t be around forever!”
“You need to find a way to get along with your mother!”
“She is the only mother you’ll ever have!”

“She can’t be that bad!”

Oh yea. Fun times.. NOT.

I believe most people who say these things really just can’t believe the outrageous stories of a narcissistic mother. They can be hard to believe, after all. Or, they’re trying to help, albeit in an ignorant way. But whatever their intentions, hearing things like these can be so hurtful & frustrating!

Anyway, I told my friend (whose mom was a wonderful lady yet she understands my complaints about my mom) that I would so love to just turn the conversation around sometime.. when I hear lines like that, I want to say something like, “You’re making that up. My mother hates me, so there is no way your mother actually loves you! She can’t be nearly as good as you say she is! You’re in denial!” Basically, do the same thing to them that they do to me- assume that all mothers are mean because mine is, & see how they like the generalization & being told what to do..

Has anyone ever tried this?? How did it work out? How do you handle snarky comments regarding your relationship with your narcissistic mother?

Just wondering.. 🙂

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Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

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