Good evening, Dear Readers!
I had an interesting experience a while ago…
My mother called me under the guise of telling me about a Stephen King movie coming on TV tonight. I knew about it already, what with him being my favorite fictional author, as many of you know. Plus it’s a new one based on a story in his book “Full Dark, No Stars” which I really enjoyed.
Anyway she took this opportunity to remind me (as she has probably thousands of times before) that she doesn’t understand what is wrong with me- why do I like scary stories? She certainly doesn’t like them & has no idea where I got my taste in such things! And did I know she saw the movie “Psycho” at the drive in when it came out, & it terrified her? Have I ever seen it? Yes, & it’s among my favorite movies. “GASP!! I just don’t understand what’s wrong with you!”
Same speech, different day. As usual, it annoyed me.
I finally thought to ask God why did she feel the need to do this? More attempting to shame me for liking an author she doesn’t approve of (even though he’s been my favorite since I was 8 & read “Night Shift” for the first time)?? He showed me that the motivation is to spoil my fun in watching this movie. Often her comments are made to shame me, yes, but when she calls to let me know one of his movies is coming on TV soon, it’s to spoil my fun in the hopes that I’ll give up liking this “horrible” author’s works & start liking the more happy, light & fluffy authors she likes.
*sigh* Yea, that ain’t happening. lol
Suddenly I realized she’s done this wet blanket thing so many times, as has my narcissistic mother in-law. When I got my first car, a cute little Buick Skyhawk, my parents took me to the dealer. Since I only had my learner’s permit at the time, my mother rode home with me, & complained the entire way (about 10 miles). “This car is too small!” “There’s no leg room!” & other untrue & snarky comments. It spoiled my very first drive in my first car. When my husband & I first started dating, his mother suggested she & I go to lunch & shopping. I said fine, when? Her response? “You WILL be taking Eric’s car instead of yours, right?” I was surprised & said “No, I’ll be driving mine.” (she doesn’t drive). She said “Oh.” & changed the subject. This exact conversation happened a total of 3 times before she gave up since I wasn’t taking his car & insisted on taking my own. It also set the stage for 8 long years of nasty comments about how awful my Oldsmobile was, how expensive it was to maintain & how I should just junk it, all because it simply needs a paintjob..
There were many other similar incidents with both of them, but I’m sure you get the point.
Amazing isn’t it? Amazing how narcissists think they know best what you should like. And, they can’t accept the fact that you might like something they don’t or vice versa. They act like it’s a crime, or a direct attack on them if you are different than they are, or have an interest they don’t. And, by golly, you better straighten yourself up & only be interested in what THEY deem worthy!
It’s amazing to me that any human being can be so insecure that they will hurt, anger & try to mold another person into liking/not liking the things that they do. How is it a threat to them if you like something they don’t?! Who cares?! Everybody is different, it’s a simple fact of life, so why does this even affect a narcissist?!
They are simply that insecure.
While narcissists may appear overly self-confident, the truth is that behavior is to convince not only other people but also themselves that they are wonderful, special people, & not the lowly, unworthy person they really feel like they are deep down on the inside. So, if you don’t like something they do, then they take that as you don’t approve of them. On the opposite side of the same coin, if you like something they don’t, they also take that as you not approving of them or you thinking you are better than they are.
Narcissists simply can’t see this situation as 2 different people having different tastes.
Remind yourself of this next time the narcissist in your life insults you for not liking something she likes, or for liking something she doesn’t. As always, her behavior speaks volumes about her, not about you! ❤