Not A Good Day

Apparently the hospital where my father is staying is confused.  Great thing for a hospital, no?  *sigh*


They want to do a small procedure on my father to repair the compression fracture in his spine, & now that the nasty meds are out of his system, he agrees to get it done.  It was supposed to be done Thursday & he was going to come home last night.  Then no, he wasn’t coming home last night, but today after the procedure.  Just a little while ago a nurse told him it’ll be done Thursday& he can come  home then.  *pulling out hair*  I really wish someone would get their act together..


On the good side however, he feels great.  Pain is well controlled with much milder meds.  He’s in good spirits too.


Aside from the frustration with the hospital, it hasn’t been a good day for me because my mother really hurt me this morning.  I think I’m as hurt as I am because I’m overly tired & this past week has been an emotional roller coaster.  Plus, as I mentioned in my last post, she’d been pleasant & nice to me.


This morning when we spoke on the phone, she asked if my back was bothering me at all today.  Odd question for her, what with her showing some concern.  I should’ve expected it was a setup.  Unfortunately I didn’t.  I said it’s been kinda bothering me all week (I feel stress in my back very easily).  She said, “You just wait until you have back problems for 18 years!”  What the..?!?!  I couldn’t help it & started crying.  Thankfully, the narcissism was in full force & she had no idea.  I really wouldn’t have wanted to explain why I was hurt, as she would’ve only invalidated me further.


I guess the niceness is done now.  Kinda sucks- the last few days were very pleasant when I had to deal with her.  Not like I didn’t see it coming though.  It’s just very disappointing.  The good times are always very good, & I think that’s why it always hurts as bad as it does when they end.  Plus, it sure would be nice to have a normal, non-narcissistic mother.


So, I decided to get in some well needed self-care today.  I was thinking of staying home since I am about dying for some introvert time, just hanging out with the furkids.  But, instead I’m heading out to lunch with a dear friend.  The laughs will do us both some good.


I realize I’m very blessed with wonderful fans, so I’m hoping you will pray for me.  I really need the prayer right now.  I’ve been in survival mode all week, just getting through each crisis as it arose, & now that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I am not only exhuasted beyond belief, but overly emotional.  Thank you for the prayers!  I love you & am praying for you too!  xoxo




Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

2 responses to “Not A Good Day

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