Good morning, Dear Readers!
I read a lovely quote yesterday by Budda. It says, “Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.” I thought it was a very true & lovely quote, & it reminded me of Romans 8:28 which says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (KJV)
I am not of the delusional mindset that if you are just positive enough, all the pain from the painful experiences will magically disappear. I also will never, ever say I am grateful for the abuse & traumas I’ve experienced in my life, or that they were a blessing. And honestly, I have yet to find any blessing in some situations even years later. However, I am happy to say that some good has come from them. My horrible first marriage taught me it’s better to be alone than with an abuser, to recognize certain warning signs in a man that show he isn’t good for me, & to recognize signs of abuse in a romantic relationship. The narcissistic abuse from my mother taught me so much about what makes her act the way she does, how it has affected me, setting & enforcing healthy boundaries & more, plus it’s enabled me to help others in similar situations.
By saying these things, I’m not saying abuse or trauma is a good thing, or is necessary for building character or anything so ludicrous. I’m also not trying to trivialize trauma. I’m just saying I think it can be a good & healthy thing to find the little bit of positive in a sea of pure crap. For years, I thought my pain had no purpose at all & nothing good could ever come from it. Realizing it has, has helped me be more at peace with the traumatic events. By that I mean that I’ve been able to accept that they did happen & cope to the best of my ability, which is so much better than how I used to handle my pain- by stuffing it down inside & trying to ignore it.
It just amazes me how God can pull some good out of so many terrible situations. Regarding Romans 8:28, when I thought about that Scripture this morning, I thought about my gorgeous snowshoe Siamese cat, Jasmine. Jasmine was a lovely cat, but her first 7 years of life, she had irresponsible owners who passed her from home to home. Her last owner before me was good to her, but she passed away in 2003, which is when I inherited Jasmine. I learned early Jas had a wall up- she was obviously tired of getting close to someone only to have them abandon her.
On Christmas day, 2009, my husband found her barely responsive. We couldn’t see the vet until the following day, but we immediately got her in that day. The vet had taken such good care of Danya, my husky/wolf, when he had diabetes, that I was positive he’d be equally as great with Jasmine. Not only did he misdiagnose her as having cancer or pancreatic issues, he coldly told me I should “just put her down.” I don’t believe in doing that, plus Jasmine’s pleading eyes told me it would’ve been a mistake. I took her home, expecting my beautiful girl to die in 1-2 days. Instead, she started to improve. She moved a little, then ate & drank a little. Five days later, she sat upright! In looking online for answers for her symptoms, I met a good friend who is a vet tech, who diagnosed Jasmine as having had a stroke! Once she said that, i was able to take care of Jasmine & she recovered with only a little sway to her rear end as a sign she had a stroke.
During following 2 years, Jasmine had 3 more strokes, only her final one giving her any problems. She fully recovered from the other 2. We became even closer as I cared for her. That wall she had built crumbled, & she became not only dependent on me for her care, but also for comfort & love. She also fought so hard after each stroke to recover fully until she no longer could do so after her last stroke. And even then, she fought so hard to stay alive. Her blue eyes stared into mine for her last few hours with such love.. it was beautiful, the love she showed me.
While I can’t say her strokes were a good thing by any means, I still am grateful that she let them change her. We became so close, much closer during her last 2 years than during the previous 6 years when she was in better health. She also became very close to the other cats & dogs, rather than ignoring them. She even became more clear in her communications with me, which struck me funny since one of our dogs at the time was very good at communicating with me, & she always had looked down on him for that.
Out of such a tragic event as a stroke, something beautiful happened. Jasmine was able finally to accept the fact she had a loving family, & to accept happily the gestures of love we all gave her. It even seemed to give her strength & a strong desire to fight with every fiber of her being to heal after the strokes. It really amazed me, & still does, that something so positive came out of such a horrible situation. Her courageous love (as a good friend of mine describes it so perfectly) was an inspiration to me, & I thank God for blessing me with that amazing, lovely creature.
If you think about the bad situations in your life, what good has come from them?