Update & Sharing What I’ve Learned Recently

Good evening, Dear Readers, & happy new year to you!

I’m sorry I’ve been missing in action lately.  I’ve been having computer troubles, plus I’ve been busy.  I’m reworking my website, so I can make changes easier.  Thankfully it’s about 2/3 completed! Not easy with a cranky computer!  And, I’m happy to say my Facebook fan group has been growing & is quite chatty lately.   Plus, my forum is starting to grow as well, for those not interested in joining the Facebook group.  If you’d like to visit either, the links are on my website, http://www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

These positive changes are very exciting, yet also very intimidating.  I don’t do change well, even when it’s good change.  Plus, although I’m honored God trusts me to help others, that’s a lot of responsibility!  I never want to let anyone down, even though I will sometimes because I’m only human. 

I’m trying to focus on the very positive things as much as possible, though.  It’s not always easy to do, especially when my anxiety levels go crazy (gotta love C-PTSD huh?), but I’m trying & it’s helping.  I’m also getting better at self care.  It’s truly amazing how a little time spent with some candles, a good movie & the furkids can relax me.

I’ve also gotten better at grounding myself during flashbacks.  Touching & focusing on a rough surface, such as a coarse fabric, helps me a great deal, as does looking at traffic that passes in front of my house.  Not sure why, but what helps isn’t important.  The fact it helps is.

Why have these things happened?  I believe they’re simply answers to prayer. 

I have a bad habit of praying for other people, but rarely for myself.  While God loves it when we care about others, He still wants us to care about ourselves.  (Remember, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”?)

Recently my parents have needed quite a bit of help from me, especially while my father was hospitalized last month.  This caused me a lot of anxiety, & the only thing that enabled me to get through was God’s help.  I started praying for myself more than ever, & God has truly blessed me in return.

I think as a daughter of a narcissistic mother, I always felt selfish praying for myself.  If you too have a narcissistic mother, no doubt you can relate.  After all, we’re not supposed to have needs, wants or feelings according to our mothers.  We’re called selfish if we do have them.

The good news is God disagrees with that.  He wants to help us by meeting our needs & wants, & He cares about our feelings.  In fact,I’ve grown much closer to Him since I’ve been praying more for myself. 

If you don’t pray for yourself much or at all, I’d like to encourage you to start now.  What do you have to lose?  But, you have so much to gain!  Blessings, help as you need it, & best off all, a closer relationship to God.  😀