Getting To Know Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

I was recently reading a very good email from Dr. Karyl McBride, author of “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”  It’s an incredibly good book for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers.


Anyway, her email was discussing the new book she has coming out soon.  She included an exercise in the email for helping you to get to know who you really are.  She called it “An inner selfie”.  Collect pictures from magazines or from the internet that represent some aspect of yourself.


I’ve done something similar this & it really does help you to get to know & inspire yourself.  I have several folders of pictures on my tablet full of pictures that speak to me in some way.  I have a folder of pictures that are uniquely feminine- flowers, beautiful women that I would like to model myself after, & other images.  There are several folders of various pictures that help me to feel good- one has images of Ireland, another a cabin deep in the woods in a blizzard, another has pictures of the beautiful interiors of luxurious trains, still another contains pictures of Claude Monet’s paintings, another a couple of cute vintage & beautifully restored campers.  I also have a folder full of pictures of inspirational quotes & another full of informative & validating quotes about mental health.


Growing up with a narcissistic mother, as you know if you too have one, means you grow up not knowing who you are.  You’re simply whatever your mother wants you to be, not the person God made you to be.  It’s the same way if you were romantically involved with a narcissist.   Today, why don’t you make a decision to learn who you are?  Start by collecting pictures that you’re attracted to.  Each one will reveal a little bit about who you really are inside, & help you to get to know yourself.  You may even learn that you like who you are.  🙂


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

8 responses to “Getting To Know Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

  1. ibikenyc

    Sounds like an excellent bunch of Pinterest boards!


    • It would be! I just keep them to myself though & off Pinterest because they’re personal to me. Well, that & if I go on Pinterest, it doesn’t take much for me to get lost on there & waste a LOT of time! lol I just love that site!

      Liked by 1 person

      • ibikenyc

        You and me both; LOL! HOURS go by, and I end up with a dozen tabs open. I get email from them at least twice a day, and sometimes I just trash it to keep myself from getting started

        (You can keep boards private, just so you know. I have a couple-few like that myself.)

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL! I know! I trash those emails too.. don’t get me started people… lol & the dozen tabs open? Yep.. .same here! It’s a weird love/hate relationship I have with Pinterest. You too?

          I realize you can keep boards private. I may end up doing that with some, not sure. I noticed recently I have 149 followers. Really? There’s that many people that share my weird interests out there?! lol

          Do you use the same name on Pinterest as you do here? I’d like to follow you on there if you don’t mind.

          Liked by 1 person

          • ibikenyc

            Mind?! Gosh, I’m so flattered I’m grinning from ear to ear!


            Yes, it’s the same name, and also the same photo.

            (I never thought to look to see if I had any followers until I read your reply. I was astonished to see that I have twenty-nine, only one of whom is someone I’ve heard of, a cousin from whom I haven’t otherwise had a word in at least the past six to eight years!)


            • LOL! 🙂 Thanks! I just followed you. I see you have a thing for bags. I do too.

              Oh that’s cool! Maybe this will be a way you & that cousin can start to talk again.

              Liked by 1 person

              • ibikenyc

                I found you on Pinterest last night and looked through your boards; hope you don’t mind.

                May I follow you back?

                I do love bags; only certain ones, though. With any shoes / clothing / accessories, I’d rather have a very-few gee-whiz items than a load of just-okay ones. I used to want tons of everything and feel bad that I didn’t. Now I can’t imagine having to take care of all that stuff!

                Funny you should mention talking to that cousin. I’m very much on the fence about that. There’s a little bit of history there (nothing bad, honestly), and I am still feeling too fragile to risk getting in touch with (yet another) someone who might not answer me.


                • I don’t mind at all. I’m flattered! 🙂

                  Follow on if you like!

                  That’s funny you say that- I am the exact same way! Used to want stuff & now no thanks.. I’d rather have a few really “gee whiz” items instead.

                  I understand what you mean about your cousin. When & if the time is right to contact her, you’ll know.

                  Liked by 1 person

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