Growing up with a narcissistic parent often means being a doormat when you grow up. People seem to have no problem mistreating or abusing you, & are surprised if you don’t tolerate it. It’s very strange, as it seems like they sense that you have been used & abused, & believe it is perfectly acceptable to treat you that way.
Some signs you are a doormat are:
- Accepting blame for things that aren’t your fault.
- Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.
- Accepting the unacceptable from others or even justifying their bad behavior.
- Accepting responsibility for others’ moods.
- Feeling invisible.
- Avoiding confrontation.
- Constant fear of hurting others’ feelings even when your have been wronged.
- Ignoring your own feelings to accommodate others.
If this describes you, you are not alone! In fact, I believe most adult children of narcissistic parents are this way.
How do you stop being a doormat? First, learn all you can about boundaries. You need to know what is & is not your responsibility, so you stop accepting too much responsibility. It is not only beneficial for you, but for others as well. It truly doesn’t help others to be constantly rescued or coddled. Certainly, occasionally, we all need those things, but they should not be a way of life.
Also, focus on your own emotional healing & mental health. The healthier you are, the less likely others are to use you. They will know you aren’t easy to manipulate. Plus you will recognize their attempts to mistreat you, & not permit it to happen by enforcing your healthy boundaries.