Do you celebrate the good things in your life? Not necessarily throw a big party over every good thing, but at least revel in your joy for a few moments.
Life can be so hard & full of negative things, the good can get pushed aside. It’s very easy to do. However, I would like to encourage you today to start looking for more good things & celebrating them. Focus more on what you have accomplished than what is still left to do. Be proud of the fact you lost five pounds or finally painted your living room. Think about how blessed you are that a good friend of yours brought you lunch when you were sick, or offered to take your child to school when you were unable. Enjoy the fact your spouse took off work on your birthday to celebrate & spoil you. Take a few moments just to think about those good things & feel good about them. Bask in the good feelings for a few minutes. Truly this will help you to feel good, & it will help to cement these positive experiences in your memory by attaching good emotions to them. Experiences with emotions attached stick with us much better than those with little or no emotions.
I have stressed many times the importance of taking a break from emotional healing sometimes, as it can be very draining. As much as you need to heal from narcissistic abuse, it can be very complex & deep, so periodic distracts are very important. However, I think equally important is looking for & celebrating the good things.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent, accomplishments were always undermined. We heard negative, critical, judgmental things our entire lives. In fact, I think of my parents as the “could be a tumor” kid from the movie, “Kindergarten Cop.” Do you remember that kid? If not, here you go:
These things our parents did became habits. We learned to do them to ourselves. We became highly critical & negative about ourselves, even trivializing the good things we’ve done. Why continue the abuse that your parents started? Stop it & stop it now! You deserve so much better than that, & you deserve to be happy. Start today by celebrating something good. Take a few minutes to bask in the joy of the blessing or the event, whatever it is. Focus on how good it feels to have received something or to have accomplished something. Even if it’s simply cleaning your house- doesn’t it feel good to have that task completed? Focus on that good feeling for a few minutes. Thank God for the good things. That’s all you have to do.
Now, try that celebration with other things, big & small. Relish the enjoyment! You’ll be a happier person for it! xoxo