Many narcissists will accuse you of doing some heinous act that you have never done, yet they do on a regular basis. Or, they treat you as not good enough, which is how they truly feel inside.
- My narcissistic mother often accused me of being cold & unfeeling. She has no genuine empathy for anyone- she only can fake it periodically. (for people other than me- she can’t even fake it for me)
- A narcissist I once knew stopped speaking to me because she said I lied to her. I didn’t lie to her once, yet I caught her in countless lies over the years.
- My narcissistic mother in-law always let me know she didn’t approve of or like me, & she was very disappointed I married her son. From what my husband has told me, her mother in-law never approved of her, even to the point of wanting to adopt her first born rather than let her raise her own daughter.
Does this type of behavior sound familiar to you?
Scenarios like this are very common with narcissists. Unlike the average person, narcissists lack the desire to look honestly at themselves. They can’t handle the fact that they have flaws or insecurities. They refuse to work on improving themselves, & instead prefer to accuse others of doing the bad things that they do. This gives them a way to vent their anger at these flaws without accepting them about themselves. Pretty sick, huh?
The reason I’m sharing this with you today, Dear Reader, is so that you understand when this happens, it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the narcissist though. The narcissist is only trying to make herself feel better! Just because she says you are stupid, ugly, or whatever doesn’t mean that is true- it means that is how she feels about herself. Do NOT believe her vile words for a moment!
Also, listen to the things the narcissist accuses you of doing. If she says you’re a liar, dishonest, cheating on your spouse, stealing.. you can safely bet that she is doing exactly those things! Paying attention to the things she accuses you of can help you to figure out what she is capable of doing.