Controversy & Friendships

There have been a great deal of controversial things happening in the world lately, such as same sex marriage becoming a nationwide right. People often have extreme feelings on controversial issues.  So extreme in fact, many friendships have ended due to people disagreeing with each other.

This makes me sad.  I don’t understand why people won’t respect each other’s opinions.  Agree to disagree, if you will.  You don’t have to agree on every single thing to have a good relationship. No two people will anyway, because God made everyone an individual, with unique tastes, thoughts & feelings.

Disagreeing with someone’s views on a topic doesn’t give you the right to force your views on them.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, whether it’s right, wrong or indifferent.  If God Himself doesn’t force people to do anything, what makes you think you have that right?

I’m hoping, Dear Reader, that this doesn’t describe you. But, if it does, I pray God will help you to become more gentle & understanding in your behavior.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of harsh words due to a differing opinion, I’m very sorry.  It’s hurtful, I know.  If you haven’t lost your friend because of your views, but you two disagree, it may be a good idea simply to avoid discussing the topic.  If you have a good friend, yet you both feel strongly on different sides of a topic, why let that one thing hurt your friendship?  Agree to disagree.  Simply accept that you both feel differently on the issue at hand, & don’t discuss it anymore.  This really works if both people value the friendship & are willing to do this.  I’ve done this myself in my friendships, usually with good results.

Sometimes though, it doesn’t turn out as well.  Some people are so determined to make sure you hear their opinions & change yours to theirs, it will ruin a friendship.  They always remind me of this one dream I had last year.  I wrote about it here if you’d like to read it.  I’ve been in that situation too, & it really hurts.  A few years ago, I ended a friendship of 20 years because that person only cared about what he cared about, nothing else mattered, even hurting me.  It still hurts to this day.  Unfortunately in these situations, you’re going to hurt.  It’s just a fact.  All you can do is nurse your wounds, & appreciate the good, caring friends you have who are willing to accept you even if you differ on opinions.

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4 Comments

Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health

4 responses to “Controversy & Friendships

  1. Cindy

    I agree,and Satan,the father of lies and confusion,is loving the division he has helped create in the US ,in such a short time.We must fight it and not let it divide us like he wants,or he wiins.

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    • I think you are exactly right on that, Cindy. This seems to be more & more prevalent with each passing year too. People didn’t used to be this angry with those who disagreed with them. At least I don’t remember it. Nowadays though, it seems like most everyone has this “if you’re not for me, you’re against me” mindset. It’s a shame. I have friends on both sides of the same sex marriage thing & the Confederate flag thing, & I’m not willing to lose the friendship of the ones I disagree with!

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  2. Kelly

    This post brings to mind my former matron of honor. We ended our friendship nearly eight years ago. She had been married for about 6 years prior to me getting married. Shortly, after I was married, my husband kept asking me why I was friends with her because she didn’t treat me or us very well. I kept justifying that the friend I had when she was single, was fun, caring and not bitter. Her marriage to her husband has made her life very difficult and she would take it out on me. One day she sent me an email at work and basically told me that because I have a happy marriage and we plan things to enjoy our marriage, it made her feel jealous and that made her mad. Because I had been putting up with her bad behavior towards me for so long, I finally snapped and retaliated back to her in the same email. Shortly after I had sent it, I sent another email apologizing and basically said that her words had hurt me so and that’s why I retaliated and it wasn’t right. I got a very shameful response back from her and our friendship was over. I few years later I found her on facebook and basically said that I regretted the way our friendship came to an end and maybe we could discuss it. A few days later, this no return address letter showed up at my house and it was like we were back at the day she sent the nasty email to me. She professes to be a Christian but there was no forgiveness on her end. Recently, I googled her address to see if she was in the same area and her house has recently sold due to foreclosure. I feel sad for that woman because I know deep down this is not the life or the marriage she wanted for herself. However, we all make our beds and I have no idea where she is moving too. I am almost 50 years old and my last close friend from highschool just moved yesterday to another state. I guess I’ve been reminiscing my past and it shows me how many people have come into my life and had significance at one point and then the friendship just had to end for reasons you posted. I’m not sad but maybe I am. Anyway, great post and it’s very sad that we all can’t agree to disagree. I’m finding this more and more. What scares me most is that based on Friday’s ruling that Christians will be the ones now discriminated against and it will be “okay” in the public’s eye. What was once not okay for them, is now okay to do. Makes no sense….I’m tired of the double Standards.

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    • How sad. I’m so sorry Kelly. It hurts losing a friend, but it seems to hurt more when the reasons are so blatantly dumb! Her jealousy was a dumb reason. You’d think she would’ve been happy for you, & maybe tried to learn ways to improve her marriage from your happy one.

      You probably are sad but not sad at the same time. I think that’s very normal. I feel the same way when I think of the many friendships that came & went in my life, especially the one I mentioned in the post. He was someone I loved like a brother, & losing him hurt.

      Thank you.. I’m glad you liked my post.

      I hear ya on the double standards.. I’m sick of it myself.

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