How Long Does It Take To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse?

I have been asked quite a few times how long it takes to recover fully from narcissistic abuse. I believe it to be a lifelong battle, unfortunately. However, I don’t want to discourage you with that, because there is good news. Although it can be a lifelong battle, it does get easier!

You will stumble sometimes, but even so, you are constantly getting stronger as you heal. The more wisdom you gain about NPD & the effects of its abuse, the more strength it gives you. You finally realize it wasn’t your fault, & that you’re suffering the normal effects of abnormal treatment.

The dark times of depression come less frequently & don’t last as long when they come.

There are times you feel stuck, as if you are always going to be depressed, anxious, or feel like you’re going crazy. But, the longer you have been healing, the less frequently those times happen. They, like depression, won’t last as long on the rare occasions when they happen.

Your self-esteem soars. Sure, sometimes you may backslide into feeling like the worthless piece of garbage your narcissistic mother always said you were, but at least that isn’t how you constantly feel anymore. They’re merely fleeting moments. When you realize this dysfunctional thinking is happening, you remind yourself that isn’t true. Healthy self-esteem also stops the dysfunctional people-pleasing at your own expense ways many children of narcissistic parents possess.

You try to practice good self-care rituals- prayer, relaxing activities, participating in fun hobbies. Granted, sometimes you let your schedule get too busy, but the healthier you become, the quicker you are to realize this mistake & make the appropriate changes.

I want to encourage you today, Dear Reader, to change how you think about your recovery. While it may be a lifelong battle with no definite end, try to focus instead on the good that comes during your healing. Focus on each baby step, every bit of progress you make. Your narcissistic mother tried to destroy you, but she didn’t! You are like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Little by little, you are getting healthier & happier. Maybe right now you aren’t where you want to be, & feel like you have a long way to go. How about instead focusing on how far you have come? You are no longer that wounded, dysfunctional little child, but instead are a grown woman who is getting stronger & healthier each day!


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

8 responses to “How Long Does It Take To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse?

  1. Thank you for your words that drop into my inbox weekly. They are read and appreciated. I am a long way down the road to recovery, and although I won’t let anger derail my life, I am very angry at how my teens, twenties and thirties were blighted by this ****. Be strong; knowledge is power.


    • Thank you for your kind words, Jane!

      Oh yea, I understand that. I think that it’s normal. The anger ebbs & flows. There was just so much, yanno? It’s hard to forgive so much, especially if you also have repressed memories that pop up sometimes. Recovery is maddening sometimes, but it sure beats living in the dysfunction. Hang in there, Sweetie! You’re getting better every day, even on the bad days!


  2. lynettedavis

    “The more wisdom you gain about NPD & the effects of its abuse, the more strength it gives you.” This is so true. The more I learn about NPD, the better I feel about my decision to go NC.


  3. lynettedavis

    On a different note. I read on one of the WordPress pages that we can actually over-tag our posts, that WordPress does not pick up posts in the Reader that have more than 14 tags. What?!?! I know. That’s what I said too. [You can delete this comment after you read it.]


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