Going No Contact With A Narcissist

Deciding to end a relationship is not an easy choice, especially when the other person is a narcissist.  After months or years of gaslighting, you doubt your perception, wondering if this is actually a good idea in spite of the glaring evidence that says it is.  Plus, you are well aware how vengeful the narcissist can be, which scares you.  If the narcissist is your parent, there is a whole other area of guilt & “what if’s” that you will experience as well.

Once you end the relationship, the narcissist won’t take it well.  This kind of rejection creates a narcissistic rage, which we all know is never pretty.  Chances are, she will lie to others about you, probably even going so far as to make herself look like your victim.  This may hurt when others believe her lies or cut ties with you, but the thing to remember is those who truly love you won’t believe the lies.  The ones who believe them & abandon you?  You don’t need them in your life anyway.

She also may stalk you, threaten you, or vandalize your property.  The only good part of this is that you can get the police involved.  The law will force this person to leave you alone or face jail time.

Most narcissists, however, think they can outsmart the police.  They think they are too smart to do something obvious as slashing your tires, for example.  Instead, they take the most cowardly route to harassing you, & do it via text message, email or social media.  Vague social media posts referring to “someone” doing “something mean” to them are a favorite, because they offer deniability.  “I wasn’t talking about you!”  “You read too much into things!”  Bonus- if you believe it was about you, they believe they can make you think you are going crazy.

As annoying as these childish behaviors can be, the best way to handle them is to simply ignore them.  If you think it’s impossible, I beg to differ!  I’ve found it to be surprisingly easy, keeping some things in mind…

Always remember, vengeance belongs to God, not you.  Someone trying to hurt you angers God, & He is a protective father.  Let Him deal with the problem & He will do a much better job than you ever could.

This person wants to be sure you think about her as much as she thinks about you, which is why she is harassing you.  Don’t you have better things to do with your time than to think about someone so dysfunctional & evil?

The narcissist isn’t worth it.  Why waste your peace of mind & joy focusing on someone like that?  Ignore the person & enjoy your life.  Life is too short to waste on such useless matters.

Responding in any way provides her with narcissistic supply.  Refuse to provide it in any way, shape or form.  Providing supply by acknowledging her actions or getting angry with her only fuels her rage & will escalate her awful behavior.

Narcissists love to use fear & guilt to control their victims.  If you show no fear or guilt, they can’t control you.  Ignoring their actions shows you feel neither.

Narcissists can’t handle apathy.  Love them or hate them, & they are happy.  Pretend they don’t even exist?  Their little heads may explode.  lol  If you do this, eventually they will get bored with trying to win some attention from you & move onto a new supplier.

Lastly, don’t forget to document everything & I mean EVERYTHING.  Save all the emails, texts, social media posts.  Take pictures.  Write down what happened, who was there & when it happened.  If you decide to talk to the police or the narcissist does end up breaking the law or cyberstalking laws change, you will have plenty of evidence to present to the police to show your side of things.  I have saved emails, texts & screen shots from up to two years ago from someone who has been harassing me, & will continue to save them indefinitely.

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1 Comment

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

One response to “Going No Contact With A Narcissist

  1. Pingback: Narcissist in Your Life? 35+ Tools and Resources That Can Help - QueenBeeingQueenBeeing

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