To most parents, children are thought of as a blessing. The parents watch with fascination as their baby grows into a young woman with her own likes, dislikes, talents, beliefs, feelings & calling in her life. It is a blessing to them when she grows up & leaves home, as difficult as that may be for them at first. Even though it can be hard, they embrace this new direction their life as a parent is going & enjoy it.
This is not the case with a narcissistic parent. Not even close.
Narcissistic parents view their children as possessions. Possessions to be used however the narcissistic parent sees fit. Many narcissistic mothers tell their child what & when to eat, what courses to take in school, what career to get into once she’s out of school… this leads to a child who is very insecure. How can she think for herself if she was not even allowed to decide whether or not she’s hungry? How can she get to know what she wants if she isn’t even able to choose what courses to take in school?
As this child grows up, she feels unable to make decisions. It’s not like she ever had practice at it growing up like most kids get. I have been the same way, & it can be frustrating! Mostly I have gotten over this but still there are times I simply cannot make a decision, even about something silly like what I want for dinner.
This takes time to conquer. It takes time to heal & to get to know yourself too, which are the things that will help you in this area. Even so, don’t give up! Just keep on, keepin’ on. You can heal from this!