Recently, I had an interesting dream. It showed me that I need to change direction slightly with my writing. I’ve been sensing I need to do this for a while, but I think now is the time to do it.
While definitely narcissism & what I learn about it as I go will be a priority, I believe it’s time to include other, lighter topics as well. What those topics are, I’m not sure yet. God will lead me, as always. I’m open to suggestions though- you can comment on this post or email me at CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com. I’ll pray about the suggestions I receive before writing about them, so your suggestion may appear a while in the future or may be tweaked a bit when I write about it. Please don’t take that personally- I lean on God a lot with what I write, much more than people.
Anyway, I think this is a good idea to lighten up some. The simple fact is writing & focusing about narcissism so much can be pretty overwhelming for me, & I don’t need the C-PTSD triggered any more than it already is. I think reading about it can have the same overwhelming effect on many people. Learning about narcissism & the damage it causes is essential to your healing from narcissistic abuse, of course. It helps you to heal & gives you the answers you’ve been wanting. However, it is also an extremely negative topic & can take a toll on your emotions. Physically it can drain you, too.
I find it’s best to have balance- times where you learn about narcissism & related topics, time where you focus on your healing, but also times where you refuse to think about such things, instead focusing your energies into more positive, lighter endeavors. Not doing so, but instead focusing constantly on it brings you down badly. I’ve noticed it on various Facebook pages or groups for adult daughters of narcissistic mothers. So many people obsess, & you can tell just by how they write that they aren’t happy. They spend all their time thinking about the horrors they have been through or abusive people- how could they be happy??
Instead of doing that, I would like to encourage you today to take breaks. You’ll know when you need one- you’ll begin to feel your emotions starting to sink. You’ll catch yourself thinking of your own awful experiences or you’ll be angry at your narcissistic mother often. You’ll think mostly about narcissism. These are signs it’s time to take a break. Take an afternoon or even a few days where you deliberately refuse to focus on anything related to NPD. Indulge in your favorite hobbies, read a new book, hang out with close friends.. do things that you enjoy & make you feel good. Then, you can get back to a more balanced approach. You’ll feel much better about it after your break.