Since I’ve learned so much about narcissistic abuse & started writing about it, I’ve had many people contact me looking for answers. Some I simply can’t help, because helping others is hard on me emotionally. It’s a tremendous responsibility helping people, & I take it very seriously. When people ask me for help, I try to offer it to the best of my ability. Even if I’m writing books or blog posts like this, I want to provide good, helpful, truthful information.
As a result, people look to me as if I have all the answers sometimes. The fact is though, I don’t. I also make mistakes. Lots of them. And often.
When I first started writing about narcissistic abuse, I was loathe to admit mistakes I’ve made. Frankly, it can be embarrassing sometimes. I’ve done some amazingly dumb things! As time has passed though, I realized that people have more respect for someone who is real, willing to admit their shortcomings & mistakes, than they do for someone who acts as though they never slip up.
So many people in positions like mine seem to be afraid they’ll lose popularity if they admit their flaws. So instead of being open about themselves, they present a false image of perfection. This can be extremely discouraging to people following their teaching. It was for me. I felt like a failure, like I didn’t have enough faith or not praying the right way. I felt “less than.”
There are three preachers on TV that I absolutely love & have loved since I first became a Christian- Jesse Duplantis, TD Jakes & Joyce Meyer. Aside from the fact their preaching makes so much sense to me, they also admit their mistakes & shortcomings. They’re real! Listening to them or reading their books never makes me feel bad about where I am in life. Quite the opposite. They make me realize I’m OK while encouraging me to continue learning & growing.
Another bonus to being open is you lose the shame over your flaws. Bringing them into the open loosens that shame much like sunlight destroys vampires in the old legends. Hiding them gives them power over you. Power to keep you feeling embarrassed & even ashamed of yourself.
The reason I’m telling you this, Dear Reader, is to encourage you.
No doubt that as you recover from narcissistic abuse you will begin to share some of your experiences. Maybe only with those very close to or maybe you will feel led to write about it like I have. In any case, I want to encourage you to be open about it. People will respect you for your transparency. So few people in the world are genuine these days, & the few that are, are greatly appreciated. And, if you end up in a position of helping others, they will be encouraged when they realize you, someone who is teaching them, have made mistakes & are able to learn from them. They also will feel comfortable enough to approach you. You may be the only person they tell about their painful experiences, & opening up can help them tremendously.
It’s funny… sometimes your mistakes really can be a part of your ministry to others!