Today is Eric’s birthday!! Like many other adult children of narcissists, it’s a day he’s just as soon forget. But, I’m hoping we can do something to make it a special day. He certainly deserves to enjoy his birthday! Feel free to wish him a happy birthday in the comments if you like- I’ll be sure to share with him. 🙂
Keeping along with the birthday theme, I thought I’d take a moment to remind you, Dear Reader, to remember something. Your birthday is just that- YOURS. When it comes up, you need to celebrate it however you see fit. Please don’t treat the day as your narcissistic mother did. So many made their child’s birthday miserable in some way, & if you experienced that, don’t continue that pattern! It’s your day- enjoy it however you see fit!
If you can, do something special for yourself on your birthday. Even if it’s just grabbing a bouquet of flowers for yourself or taking a bubble bath. It doesn’t have to be on the exact day either- if you can’t take off work, then do something special the following day or over the weekend.
If you’re like my husband & I & prefer to forget your birthday, please know you’re not alone. I tried for a while to enjoy it, but it didn’t last long. My birthday last April was awful. It was just one of many bad ones, & now I’d just as soon forget my birthday completely. While I’d like to encourage you to at least try to enjoy your day somehow, I understand sometimes that just isn’t going to happen. Rather than feeling bad about that, try to keep in mind that at least your birthday is still done on your terms. Ok, admittedly it’d be a lot more fun to do something special for your birthday, but if you don’t feel you can, at least you still are doing your birthday your way. After all, it is your day, so you are allowed to treat it however you like. Nothing says you have to have a big celebration for your birthday or even acknowledge it if you aren’t inclined to do so. You are free to do whatever you want, & that includes doing nothing.
However you wish to handle your birthday, I would like to encourage you to do one thing- refuse to take any phone call or see your narcissistic mother. Make sure you take this one day for yourself, minus drama, minus snide criticisms, minus guilt trips about how being pregnant with you made her incredibly sick for nine months… give yourself that one day a year without all of that nonsense. You truly deserve that.