One thing many people, in particular survivors of narcissistic abuse, seem to have a problem with is over explaining.
If someone asks you to do something that you are unable or unwilling to do, most people will explain in great detail exactly why they can’t or won’t do what is asked of them, even if they have to lie. The truth however, is that is unnecessary. And, sometimes it can cause disagreements between both parties involved, especially if the one doing the explaining feels compelled to lie which is often the case.
Did you know that no can be a complete sentence?
Matthew 5:37 states, “Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one.” (AMP)
While you may be thinking that you wouldn’t lie, think about how many times you were free yet told someone you had previous plans to avoid doing what they wanted you to do? I think all of us are guilty of doing this at some point.
Instead of that, why not just say no? You owe no explanations- a simple no should suffice with most people.
Granted, with narcissists, they feel entitled to a detailed explanation of your “terrible” refusal to serve them, so no doesn’t always work. Instead, there are some slightly more elaborate answers you can give without offering a long explanation.
“No, I can’t.”
“No, I don’t have time.”
“No, I won’t.”
“No. It goes against my personal beliefs.”
Whatever you opt to say, remember not to give many details or much personal information. Narcissists love to use what you say against you or to hurt you, so it’s best to keep details to yourself whenever possible.