Self-esteem is just one of the many things that is stolen by narcissistic abuse. It can be devastating & causes a great deal of problems in one’s life. The good news though, is that you can learn to love yourself, & repair the damage the narcissist in your life did to you in this area.
The first step to take is to have a close relationship with God. Lean on Him & ask Him to help you in this area. He is a proud father, & has PLENTY of good things to say about you!
Study your Bible. There is a lot of good information in it regarding who you are as a child of God. I made a list & put it on my website. You can see it here: http://cynthiabaileyrug.com/Positive-Affirmations.php
Always remember- when someone criticizes you & it isn’t constructive criticism that is meant to help you, what they say most likely reflects what they feel about themselves, not what they think about you. Chances are good she is criticizing you in order to make you feel as bad about yourself as she does about herself.
Listen to what people say to you when they complement you. People don’t complement others just to hear themselves talk. They complement because they mean it.
Sometimes even an especially unfair incident can make your self esteem kick in. Last February when I got very sick, only a few people close to me cared. I lost friends & some that stayed had no desire to hear it if I wasn’t feeling well. It hurt tremendously, but the unfairness of the situation woke me up. I realized how wrong this was- I had been there for them repeatedly, yet they couldn’t be bothered with me after facing a life-threatening illness. It was cruel & unfair. I realized I deserved better than that, & suddenly my self-esteem was better. Sometimes being abused, mistreated or taken for granted can work in your favor in that way. Not that they are good things of course, but sometimes something good can come out of it at least. God really can work good out of bad situations!
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 