The brain is truly amazing. It will do some very impressive things to protect you!
A visit with my parents in August showed me this. During the visit, my mother threw an immense amount of verbal abuse my way. After they left, I told some people what happened & I knew there was much more too it, but couldn’t remember. It was very frustrating at first. God showed me something though…
In my younger days when things like that happened, I remembered everything. I may later repress it & it would come out years later, but usually I remembered things right after they happened for a while at least. As I got older & more terrible things happened, I started developing more symptoms of C-PTSD. Sometimes when these events happened, I’d forget a few little details, then remember them a few days later. Once the C-PTSD fully developed, I’d forget more & more, then over the next few days, I’d remember those things. Since my concussion last February & have had so many problems resulting from it, I forget a LOT, then remember it up to a week after the fact.
This has turned into a good thing. I am able to cope less with things now than I once could, & God showed me that my brain is allowing only what I can deal with to come up. Amazing, isn’t it?
This happens with memories that have been repressed for years as well. Sometimes, something is too traumatic to deal with, so the mind hides it until you are able to deal with it.
If this describes you, please know that it is happening for a very good reason! Your brain doesn’t want you to become overwhelmed or depressed. It is allowing you to cope with only what you can cope with. Don’t try to force yourself to remember something. Allow it to happen in its own time. Ask God to reveal things to you only as you are able to handle them. It is best for your mental health! Forcing things can set your healing back rather than helping you to move forward. It can negatively impact your self-esteem. It can depress you or make you extremely anxious. It’s just not worth it! Let events progress naturally for the sake of your mental health!