I’ve noticed something about some people who write blogs or facebook pages. Not all of course, but quite a few seem to think they have all the answers. Many of these authors do have a great deal of wisdom, don’t misunderstand me. They offer plenty of helpful insight. However, being human, they can be wrong sometimes, too. I have seen some provide information I am 100% sure is wrong while stating that information as fact.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not trying to trash other authors in the hopes you will follow me only, or say that I have all the answers. I hope I don’t sound that way, because that isn’t the case. I’m learning as I go just like you are, & share what I learn as I learn it & as I believe God leads me.
I’m telling you this because when you read blogs, facebook pages, books & websites like mine, you need to be aware that sometimes, the authors may make mistakes (yes, me too, even though I try not to!). It’s never wise to blindly assume everything someone writes is 100% accurate, even if the person is an expert. Besides, even your personal beliefs may clash with an author’s, & that is fine too. You can follow an author’s writing without agreeing with 100% of everything he or she says.
Also, unfortunately some who write about narcissists are narcissists themselves. I know it is hard to believe, but I have seen it first hand. I used to follow someone who from pretty early on, I noticed a few signs of narcissism. I thought I was just over sensitive. As time wore on, she read something I wrote & commented how wrong I was. Another fan defended me, & they got into a rather heated disagreement online. This happened after I got off my computer for the night, so I didn’t know about it until the following morning. I was shocked that morning to discover what happened, & to discover the other author blocked me.
This was a learning experience though.
I learned that if your instincts are telling you someone is a narcissist, even if she teaches on the topic, don’t ignore that gut feeling! It’s there for a reason! Watch her carefully, as what she says & how she treats her readers will reveal the truth eventually.
Also, watch how a person states information. If they brag about how much they know or are admired, those are narcissistic red flags.
Someone who discusses her experiences in a manner as if to say no one can have a different experience is most likely a narcissist.
Be aware of someone who is not open to others having different beliefs or handling things in a way that isn’t as if the author would handle it. There are so many gray areas when it comes to topics like narcissistic abuse or C-PTSD. Some authors only believe in no contact, for example, & can be shaming to those of us who aren’t no contact. (The one I mentioned above talked to me as if I was a fool for going low contact with my narcissistic mother instead of no contact.) This type of person fails to realize that there is no one size fits all way to handle narcissists.
Mostly though, rely on God. Ask Him to help you know who to read & what information of those authors is applicable to you. Matthew 10:16 says, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” (KJV) That is exactly how you need to be in every area in life, including your own healing from narcissistic abuse!