Many of us who grew up with a narcissistic mother learned early in life to put ourselves last in every way. This carries over into adulthood, making for some very sad & resentful adults.
Even so, we usually are unwilling to change this. We want to be different than our extremely selfish narcissistic mothers, so we go in the completely opposite direction. And, with Christians, being concerned for & helping others is a big part of who God wants His children to be. How could we be so selfish as to put ourselves first? We certainly don’t want to disappoint God! And, if your narcissistic mother claimed to be religious, no doubt she used religion to reinforce that belief in you that taking care of yourself is selfish. Even if she wasn’t religious, she probably told you, as mine did, that it was selfish & bad to take care of yourself.
The fact is though that taking care of yourself is NOT selfish! Taking care of yourself is necessary. I know, that feels so wrong after a lifetime of training from your narcissistic mother, but it’s very true! How else can you expect to function or to be there for other people if you are sick or exhausted?
Also, if you consistently put yourself & your needs last, it tells other people that they can do the same. It sends the message that you are so unimportant that even you mistreat yourself. If you can mistreat yourself, then it is perfectly acceptable for someone else to do so.
Dear Reader, I want to encourage you today to realize that you have every right, a duty to yourself even, to make yourself a priority. Making yourself a priority doesn’t make you selfish, so long as you do so in balance. (Narcissists take a healthy thing & make it completely out of balance) It doesn’t make you a bad person, in spite of what your narcissistic mother will say. Jesus even did so- there were times when He needed time to Himself & he took it, refusing to be interrupted. If Jesus did it, & as Christians we are to be like Him, don’t you think you can do this too without being selfish or bad?
Make yourself your top priority, starting today. You deserve nothing less.