So many of us who have survived narcissistic abuse compare our experiences to others’ experiences. “What I went through wasn’t so bad- that other person was beaten regularly. My mother only hit me sometimes.” Or, we hear of someone who has gone through a similar experience then wonder why we aren’t as healed as that person is. Does that sound familiar to you?
Today, Dear Reader, I want to tell you to stop it! Stop it as of right now!
Abuse in every single form is bad, period. Whether you were beaten or molested or a victim of narcissistic or psychological abuse, something terrible happened to you! Never trivialize that! And, don’t invalidate yourself by saying “Maybe it wasn’t so bad- someone else I know had it worse.” That isn’t fair to do to yourself. People respond differently to things. Two people can have the exact same thing happen to them & both will have very different reactions. Thanks to narcissistic abuse, I have C-PTSD. If someone else had been through what I have, they may not have developed it. Or, they may have ended up killing themselves. Any scenario is possible simply because people are individuals with their own unique feelings & coping skills.
Don’t judge yourself, Dear Reader! You have been through something bad. Very bad. You survived & are learning how to heal. That is something to be extremely proud of! Validate yourself! It is perfectly ok to say you were abused & that abuse caused you harm! There is no need to compare your story to someone else’s. It’s not a competition!