Anger is an emotion that strikes fear into many people. In Christian circles, many think anger isn’t of God. It’s from the devil & to be avoided at all costs. If you’re angry, you’re a sinner/wrong/a bad person. People who were abused fear anger, assuming the angry person is going to hurt them like their abuser did.
The truth is though that anger is simply one of the many emotions God gave us, & if God gave it, it can’t be bad. What you do with the anger can be good or bad though.
I have learned that sometimes, it is good to hold onto some anger. If I think back on the terrible, abusive things my narcissistic mother has done to me, although I have forgiven her for doing them, the unfairness of them still makes me angry. This is not a bad thing at all! If I can remember to focus on that anger, it helps me to stay strong with my mother when she does something else hurtful. The anger empowers me- it helps me to have the inner strength to call her out on her actions when I need to, rather than letting her get away with abusing me.
There is also a big difference in being angry at the injustice of a situation & angry at a person. God commands us to forgive one another repeatedly in the Bible, I believe because it benefits us so much to forgive others. (A few examples are: Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 18: 21-22 & Matthew 6:14-15.) Not forgiving others can lead very easily to bitterness or tainting your judgment of other people. (example: if your husband cheated on you, you think all men are cheaters) Being angry with a righteous anger at the unfairness of a situation though, does not have the same results. Yes, an unjust situation makes you angry but it doesn’t make you bitter, & it gives you strength to stand up for what is right.
If you feel anger, I urge you to really delve into why you are angry. If you are angry at the person who hurt or abused you, then by all means, please try to let it go. I wrote about the topic of forgiveness on my website. You can click this link if you’d like to read it.
If you’re angry about the unfairness of a situation though, I would urge you to hold onto that righteous anger. It will help you if you ever are faced with a similar situation.