A Frequent Problem Among Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse

Recently I learned something very interesting & also useful for those of us affected by narcissistic abuse.  We are very prone to Cluster C personality disorders.

 

Cluster C personality disorders involve OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Avoidant Personality Disorder & Dependent Personality Disorder:

 

  • OCD involves obsessive, perfectionistic type thoughts.  We need consistency, organization & routine.
  • APD means we are so socially anxious, we avoid social interaction as much as possible.  We are deathly afraid of ridicule or criticism.  We also have very low self esteem.
  • DPD involves indecisiveness, the need for reassurance, clingy behavior, & a fear of being alone.

 

If this describes you, please know you are not alone.  After reading this information, I realized these disorders describe me very well.  I would feel very safe in assuming it’s not just me.  These traits describe so many of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse that I have talked to.

 

There is also one positive note in that personality disorders describe behavior, which means they can be changed.  Personality disorders describe a behavior rather than physical brain damage, so that means they can be changed.

 

So how do you change these dysfunctional & unhealthy behaviors?  In all honesty, I’m not really sure.  Since I just learned about Cluster C disorders, I really don’t know much about them just yet.  I do know, though, that God is the best place to start dealing with any problem.  Since I just learned this information earlier today, I plan to spend some time in prayer later today when I have some uninterrupted private time to try to figure out where to start.  I’m going out on a limb here to say I think God will want me to start with asking Him to tell me the truth.  “Do I really need to be so anxious around other people?  Is it right for me to be so perfectionisitic, so hard on myself?  What is the real truth in these situations?”  (as an example).  That is always a great place to start, listening to God tell you the truth.  He will, & His words are full of healing power.

 

I’m sorry I don’t have more information to share at this moment, but I will share as I learn.    Hopefully it will benefit you as well as me, Dear Readers!  xoxo

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9 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

9 responses to “A Frequent Problem Among Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse

  1. You are on to something important, judging by my own issues and those I’ve observed in other abuse victims. In my life APD is such a large issue that I don’t even go to church because I’m so uncomfortable around other people.

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  2. So interesting…please keep sharing as you learn more! I will start looking it up-it could help my kids and me!

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    • Absolutely I will! I hope what I learn can help you & your kids! ❤

      So far, only one thing I've learned since writing this the other day- I realized getting a concussion & carbon monoxide poisoning made the dependent behaviors a LOT worse for me. Not sure which exacerbated it since both have a lot of overlapping problems such as personality changes. It makes me wonder if any illness can exacerbate any of the behaviors or only certain ones. I would think though that head injuries could make any of them worse though since even a mild concussion can cause changes in the personality.

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  3. I’ve wondered if I had APD at times, but I’m pretty sure I don’t. I just really like clear boundaries. But my SIL is definitely DPD. She goes from boyfriend to boyfriend, has never had a steady job, and never lived on her own. Her parents once kicked her out and instead of looking for a place to stay, she slept on their driveway until they let her back in. We were happy to hear she finally moved out until she told us she was living in her boyfriend’s parents’ house rent free. DH and I don’t really know how to help her without enabling her. She also has narcissistic tendencies too.

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  4. I was really worried that she would become covert narcissist if she never got out of that house, but she is capable of feeling empathy. I expressed concern about her to my husband before, but he’s so tired of having to be responsible for his family that he doesn’t want to try (and I can’t blame him either). I think there’s still hope for her. I’m hoping distance away from her toxic parents will help her take the baby steps she needs to get better.

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  5. Pingback: How Do You Know If You're Dating an Abusive Narcissist? - QueenBeeingQueenBeeing

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