Another Tool To Help When You Must Deal With Narcissists

Years ago, I stumbled across an interesting way to help me maintain calm when dealing with narcissists- props.  A prop can be anything that comforts you or even makes you smile.  They are a wonderfully simple way to keep you grounded & keep your perspective about the difficult situation. I tend to dissociate pretty easily, & having something to physically touch helps me to stay in the moment.

 

When I had to deal with my mother in-law, I used things that made me laugh.  My personal favorite was a tiny vial for holy water a Catholic charity once sent me.  Remember the movie “The Exorcist”?  When the possessed girl was sprayed with holy water, she screamed “it burns!!”  I imagined my mother in-law doing the same thing if I sprayed her with holy water.  (I know – I have a warped sense of humor)  When she got nasty with me, I’d reach into my pocket & touch the vial.  She never knew why sometimes I’d smile when she was so wicked..

 

A friend of mine also had a mother in-law who disliked her.  We started joking saying, “pass the flask- I have to see the mother in-law today.”  One day, a flask arrived in the mail!  She bought her & I matching flasks!  The flask became a prop too, making me smile when I thought of my friend’s & my inside joke.

 

On a less silly note, I was very close to my granddad.  Butterflies are something we share (see the story in this post), & because of that, I have a small butterfly tattoo on my right ankle.  I also have a pretty yellow butterfly key chain, butterfly earrings & other various butterfly things.  Often when I’m around my mother, I look at or touch my butterfly items for comfort.

 

When you have to deal with the narcissist in your life, what prop can you keep handy to help you get through?  The item you carry doesn’t have to be anything fancy- just something that inspires you or makes you smile.  Preferably something small that can fit in your pocket, so you can touch it easily.

 

Most importantly though, never forget to pray before you must deal with the narcissist.  God will give you whatever you need- strength, courage, wisdom, etc.

 

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15 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Caregiving, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

15 responses to “Another Tool To Help When You Must Deal With Narcissists

  1. Narcissists are a real weak spot for me. At work I make sure to have a scratch pad and pencil at hand when I’m going into a meeting with one. You will notice I didn’t write “pen” as I must sketch out my frustration lightly and have the ability to erase!

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  2. I carry my faith and belief that Jesus Christ overshadows all tricks of the enemy including narcissistic people in my life. I’m confident in who I am in Him that they don’t have the adverse affect on me that they once had because I gave them the power. It still hurt at times especially when I consider both my parents But GOD!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Could you explain Chanel how you overcame not to be hurt anymore.( I am also a Chistian myself)

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      • Hi Mariaholm! I don’t want to overload Cynthia’s page with my story for the process could truly be a novel! It’s indeed a process and one I fight for daily still! To sum it all up it was all about the scripture that says Renew Your Mind ( Romans 12:2). My mom can’t hurt me any more, neither can my father and everyone else that have hurt me along the way because I KNOW who I am in Christ Jesus. I encourage you to visit my blog for the details. I am really bold about sharing the details of my pain as I lived it without conviction or embarrassment. It’s what God has called me to do in order to heal and I’m just getting started. BTW Cynthia and I are cousins! Lol! I’m kidding I just love the fact that we both have similar experiences and both last names are Bailey! We have never met. Only virtually and I’m grateful for her connection!😆

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  3. ibikenyc

    LOVE your reference to “The Exorcist” LOL!

    (I, too, have a very-dark sense of humor.)

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