Being Positive Doesn’t Fix Everything

I’ve been seeing so much lately about thinking positive, how a positive outlook can fix any problem in life.  It sounds great, but I disagree.

Thinking positive is certainly a good thing.  It can help you not to be discouraged or depressed.  In fact, I even have what I call “Positive Monday” every week in my facebook group, where I share something good in my life & encourage others to do the same.  That being said though, sometimes you have to be real.  There is nothing wrong with being upset when something bad happens.  It’s ok to grieve & be negative for a while after losing a loved one, being unfairly fired, finding out your spouse cheated on you or being mistreated.

Also, being realistic rather than optimistic helps you to avoid being constantly disappointed.  Optimists are constantly disappointed, because they naively expect everything to turn out well.  Unfortunately for them, that isn’t realistic!  Sometimes life is great & things turn out well, but not always.  I am a firm believer in hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.  For example, last February when I got carbon monoxide poisoning & a concussion when I passed out from it, I did a lot of research on both.  I learned that recovery is very long & slow, & in many cases, a person never fully recovers from carbon monoxide poisoning or a brain injury, even a so called mild one like a concussion.  While I hoped to be one of the few to fully or nearly fully recover, I accepted the fact it may never happen.  My symptoms have not improved in a long time, & I accept that.  I’m disappointed, sure, but not devastated because I knew it was possible, which I believe is about as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

Positive thinking also won’t heal you from the effects of abuse.  What will help you is to face what happened head on, talking about it, praying about it, getting angry about it then forgiving the person who hurt you.  Ignoring it or making excuses for the abuser (“he was abused as a child”, for example) does not benefit anyone, least of all you.

I just wanted to encourage you today, Dear Reader, to have some balance in your thinking.   There is no shame in being realistic rather than optimistic.  There is no shame when positive thinking doesn’t fix everything for you.

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4 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

4 responses to “Being Positive Doesn’t Fix Everything

  1. Cindy

    I agree. Being positive is not a cure all!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • No, it’s not! I actually unfriended someone on facebook at one point for being so positive. He wouldn’t admit that sometimes, things suck & other things besides a positive attitude are necessary to deal with the problem. I don’t object to a positive attitude at all, but he was just so over the top with it, it irritated me. Especially when he’d say I was being negative simply by stating facts. That’s not negative- that’s realistic!

      Like

  2. sharonp1us

    Positive thinking is a good ice-breaker and initial approach. It’s also a good way to get conned, fleeced and ripped off. It is important to balance each day with good experiences. I like to watch the sunrise and take my dog for a walk. I devote care to my every meal. There are safe positive things that give me balance.

    Trust and respect are hard-won and easily stolen. I was laid-off after 32 years and it was unnecessarily ugly. The people who were the worst were surprised it was hard on me; they thought it was empowering for them and they should still be my friends/acquaintances. A roasting! Ha! Ha! Of course, some people disagreed. When your identity is stolen and you’re life is ridiculed there is cause for life-changing thought that doesn’t feel good.

    The solid things you can do to care for yourself will carry you through. Be healthy, be there for the ones who need you, and cut off the ones who hurt you. They don’t need you and you don’t need them.

    Like

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