Avoiding Infidelity

I read recently that 30-60% of all married couples are affected by infidelity at some point in their marriage.  That is a staggering statistic!  Infidelity is possibly the most painful thing a couple can go through, so why are so many people cheating?

 

I firmly believe one reason, possibly the main reason, is because when a couple is going through difficulties, it is easy to look at someone else & think they are so much better than that man or woman you’re married to.  Temptation can easily become too much at that point.  I admit, I fell into that trap myself before I was a Christian.  Before I married my ex husband, I broke our engagement & told him I wanted to see other people.  I did just that, but for a few months later we were married,  I continued seeing one other man for several months until the guilt of what I was doing was too much for me to handle.  I did this because I was unhappy with my ex husband from very early in our relationship.  I had married my ex out of guilt (he was very manipulative & I was easily manipulated back then), not love, & was unhappy.  The man I was seeing was much different than my ex.  He was fun, kind & smart.  He made me feel desirable, witty, smart & more.  I had a hard time letting that go, especially when I compared him to my ex.

 

Another reason for infidelity is selfishness, often to the point of narcissism.  So many people are only concerned with themselves, that they don’t even care that what they do may hurt other people, even to the point they will cheat on their spouse.  You can identify these people easily- they are the ones that don’t want to quit their porn addiction because they claim that isn’t cheating.  They fail to realize that Matthew 5:27-8 say otherwise (27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (NLT)).  They also ignore the fact that their addiction is destroying their spouse.

 

How do you avoid this awful pitfall?  By treating your spouse like the most important person in your world.  Remind him constantly how proud you are of him, & mean it.  Tell her often how beautiful she is, & mean that.  Say please & thank you on a regular basis.  Never take that wonderful person you married for granted, because there are no guarantees in life- your situation can change in an instant.  Play together- whether it is video games, board games, ping pong or sports, have fun together & do it often.  Arrange dates often, & spend  time talking, without the TV, without your cell phones.  Refuse to talk about the fact you don’t have the money to make the car payment or your son is failing algebra, & just talk about each other- your hopes & dreams, what you want from each other (& pledge to do it!).  Most importantly, don’t forget to pray together.  It is truly a bonding experience!

 

Marriage isn’t always easy.  It’ll never be perfect either, but it can be a happy, comfortable safe haven with your best friend & lover.  If you & your spouse decide to make it that way, & both of you work on it, then chances of infidelity destroying your marriage can virtually disappear.

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9 Comments

Filed under Christian Topics and Prayers, Mental Health, Miscellaneous

9 responses to “Avoiding Infidelity

  1. Sexual addiction is the largest growing addiction in the U.S., possibly the world. Some think of an addiction as something some can’t stop doing…not the case . Many alcoholics do not struggle until they are in a valley. Many are “under the table” alcoholics. This is a huge part if infidelity. Dating sites for married couples to have affairs has not helped the cause.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This post is so complimentary to what I will become writing about next month! I was going to do it this month until I found out that it is Limb Difference Awareness so wanted to focus on my son. The stats of infidelity secluded to Christian marriages is even alarming! We do have to protect our unions and work at them everyday to keep the enemy at bay! (I didn’t mean to rhyme! Lol) Seriously, it’s a lot of work and every couple will be challenged at some point. The grass is never truly greener on the other side because we are all imperfect beings.. Great post!

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    • Oh that’s funny.. interesting we both had this topic on our minds around the same time. There must be a great need for it then!

      I had no clue about Limb Difference Awareness Month.. is it very well known & I just missed it?

      You’re so right about working at our marriages daily! Even a cute rhyme..lol It’s too easy to fall into that infidelity trap since during bad times, the grass looks so much greener on the other side. No one is immune to that temptation. But, being aware that’s what’s going on makes resisting temptation possible!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well even I had no clue it was Limb Difference awareness month until I was contacted by my network of support parents through social media! Who knew!! Lol! That’s when I changed my writing direction for the month. It’s about marriage in May! Hey I like the sound of that!😃

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        • It’s kinda cool that there are so many awareness months nowadays! Hopefully that really helps raise awareness!

          About marriage in May- that’s got a nice ring to it! 🙂

          lol.. maybe I should create narcissistic November.. lol

          Liked by 1 person

          • Go for it!!!! Lol!! I am really laughing out loud!!! I just started a new job 3 weeks ago and one of my coworkers CLEARLY has a narcissistic personality!!!!! I am not feeling this chick at all!!!!! I’m going to need instructions on how to handle and you are the specialist. Not sure if I will survive until November though!!! Geesshhh!😳

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            • LOL! 🙂

              Oh boy.. aren’t you lucky?? NOT! Not sure I’m a specialist but thank you for the faith in me! I’ll help if I can!

              One of my friends is in my facebook group partly because she has a narcissistic co worker. Not sure if you’re interested, but if so, the link is below. My group is a very safe, nurturing & even fun environment & I watch it closely to be sure it stays that way. It’s also closed so although people can see you’re in the group, only group members can see your posts. No pressure to join of course- just saying you’re very welcome to if you like.

              https://www.facebook.com/groups/FansOfCynthiaBaileyRug/

              Liked by 1 person

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