Avoiding Infidelity

I read recently that 30-60% of all married couples are affected by infidelity at some point in their marriage.  That is a staggering statistic!  Infidelity is possibly the most painful thing a couple can go through, so why are so many people cheating?

 

I firmly believe one reason, possibly the main reason, is because when a couple is going through difficulties, it is easy to look at someone else & think they are so much better than that man or woman you’re married to.  Temptation can easily become too much at that point.  I admit, I fell into that trap myself before I was a Christian.  Before I married my ex husband, I broke our engagement & told him I wanted to see other people.  I did just that, but for a few months later we were married,  I continued seeing one other man for several months until the guilt of what I was doing was too much for me to handle.  I did this because I was unhappy with my ex husband from very early in our relationship.  I had married my ex out of guilt (he was very manipulative & I was easily manipulated back then), not love, & was unhappy.  The man I was seeing was much different than my ex.  He was fun, kind & smart.  He made me feel desirable, witty, smart & more.  I had a hard time letting that go, especially when I compared him to my ex.

 

Another reason for infidelity is selfishness, often to the point of narcissism.  So many people are only concerned with themselves, that they don’t even care that what they do may hurt other people, even to the point they will cheat on their spouse.  You can identify these people easily- they are the ones that don’t want to quit their porn addiction because they claim that isn’t cheating.  They fail to realize that Matthew 5:27-8 say otherwise (²⁷ “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’²⁸ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (NLT)).  They also ignore the fact that their addiction is destroying their spouse.

 

How do you avoid this awful pitfall?  By treating your spouse like the most important person in your world.  Remind him constantly how proud you are of him, & mean it.  Tell her often how beautiful she is, & mean that.  Say please & thank you on a regular basis.  Never take that wonderful person you married for granted, because there are no guarantees in life- your situation can change in an instant.  Play together- whether it is video games, board games, ping pong or sports, have fun together & do it often.  Arrange dates often, & spend  time talking, without the TV, without your cell phones.  Refuse to talk about the fact you don’t have the money to make the car payment or your son is failing algebra, & just talk about each other- your hopes & dreams, what you want from each other (& pledge to do it!).  Most importantly, don’t forget to pray together.  It is truly a bonding experience!

 

Marriage isn’t always easy.  It’ll never be perfect either, but it can be a happy, comfortable safe haven with your best friend & lover.  If you & your spouse decide to make it that way, & both of you work on it, then chances of infidelity destroying your marriage can virtually disappear.