Talking About Your Trauma

I’ve been reading lately about discussing abusive & traumatic experiences.  It seems many people have very definite opinions on the matter.  Some think it is the duty of the victim to talk about it, to raise awareness & help other victims.  Others think talking puts unfair pressure on the victim, & they’ve been through enough.

 

It seems to me that in a way, they’re both right.

 

Proverbs 31:8-9 says,

“8  Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.

9  Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.”  (KJV)

 

I believe this clearly states that it is right to speak up against abuse.  But, if you notice, it says to “speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.”  That could be those who are still being abused & unable to escape, but it also could be those who are recently traumatized or even those who only recently realized they were abused (as abusers love to convince victims they are helping, the victim made them hurt them, it isn’t abuse, etc).  It can be hard or even impossible to talk about your trauma when you’ve only recently escaped your abuser or learned what was done to you was abuse.

 

So how do you know what is right for you to do?  Pray.  Ask God to show you what He would have you to do.

 

If you feel speaking about your experiences is the answer for you at this time, it can be scary, I know.  Lean on God to enable you to do it. Not everyone who discusses their abusive experiences is in the public eye.  God may not want you to write a book or blog.  He may instead send people across your path periodically who need to hear your story.  That calling is no less important than those who are in the public eye.  Helping people cope with their pain is an extremely important calling, no matter how it is done.

 

If you don’t feel the need to discuss your experiences, probably this means you have some healing to do first.  Talking about things really isn’t easy.  Abusers always make victims afraid to talk.  When you first escape the abusive situation or first realize what was done was actually abuse, you may need to think & pray a lot to come to terms with things.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  Do what you need to do!  Prayer, writing in a journal & even writing letters you never show to the abuser are excellent places to start.  Never feel bad if you’re in this place!  Everyone starts their recovery somewhere, & often it’s alone.  Besides, if you hope to be one who can help other victims, you have to be able to do so.  Self-care is vital!  You have to take care of yourself if you want to be of any help to others.

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6 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

6 responses to “Talking About Your Trauma

  1. Although I only went no contact late last year I had been praying and thinking seriously about the way my family treated me for at least 5 years. In that time I said very little about the abuse and to only a very few close friends. It really took that long to be able to emerge from the fog of abuse and determine a course of action. In addition I was really too weak then in every way to be able to find a comfort level about discussing what I’d experienced. So I understand completely how some survivors need lots of time and healing before they can talk about it and that some may never be able to. We survivors, especially, should never pressure other survivors to talk; gently encourage and facilitate, maybe, but never pressure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beautifully said. 🙂 It really is a good thing to talk openly about what happened, since it helps raise awareness & lets victims know it’s not just them. But, it’s just not easy! It takes a lot of healing to be able to even discuss it among those close to you. Talking more publicly? Very difficult & definitely not for everyone.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Came across your blog and look forward to reading more. I can relate to many things. I just got divorced and recovering from my trauma from it all.

    Like

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