One of the hardest things to understand about narcissists & their awful actions is why they care more about what strangers think about them than the opinions of those closest to them. I believe there are several reasons for this.
Narcissists can’t bond. Most people automatically form bonds with those they love, but narcissists don’t even love in a normal, healthy way. Everything they do is about getting their coveted narcissistic supply (what makes them feel good about themselves), so they may love what you do if you provide it, but that doesn’t mean they love you.
Narcissists don’t do deep, meaningful relationships. They want superficial relationships, where there is no real responsibility. They simply want to be adored.
Strangers providing narcissistic supply thrill narcissists. It’s easy to show strangers what the narcissist wants them to see, & hide the bad parts. Strangers can provide instant supply. This is very gratifying to narcissists. Strangers are much easier & more fulfilling to get supply from than those close to them.
Narcissists don’t get their narcissistic supply from their own actions. Most people feel good about themselves when they do something well, but narcissists aren’t that way. They only feel good about themselves when another person provides their narcissistic supply. It’s relatively easy to get supply from strangers.
I hope this helps you to understand a little about why narcissists care more about strangers than those closest to them, Dear Reader. It truly isn’t about you or something you’ve done wrong- it’s all about them & their dysfunction!