Being Quirky

One thing I’ve noticed most adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have in common is we’re quirky.  We don’t think or act like most so called “normal” people.


And I think that is pretty cool!


Normal is boring.  Normal blends in.  Normal is white instead of jewel tones.


Many people think normal is great.  They like to blend in with the crowd, because standing out means many people will judge.  And who wants to be judged?!  Especially since many who judge are so very critical as well as judgmental.


The problem with not standing out means that people who make a difference never blend in.  Look at Albert Einstein, Nichola Tesla, & Edgar Allan Poe for example.  All brilliant men, & not on a one of them blended in with their peers.  In fact, many people doubted the sanity of all three of them.


God made each person to be unique.  If He went through all of the trouble to make everyone’s DNA & fingerprints unique, don’t you think that is proof He wants everyone to be different?



I know when you grow up with narcissists, this can be a foreign concept.  My mother always has harshly criticized the things about me that are unique, such as loving cars (especially mine), having several cats at a time, my fondness for horror books & movies & more.  As a result, I felt a great deal of shame about such things for a great many years.


One day though, it finally began to click in my mind that God made me to be unique.  He made me the way I am for a reason, & He isn’t ashamed of me for liking old cars or scary stories!  I would think He likes them too, since He must have put the ideas for them in the creators’ minds.


I learned that accepting my quirks & even embracing them has given me more confidence.  That has allowed me to do the work that I do.  Writing about narcissism isn’t easy!  Aside from the fact the topic is so mentally draining, people are extremely quick to criticize those who write on the topic.  We are supposedly living in the past, ungrateful when we should be grateful for our wonderful parents, blaming them forever & more.  After a lifetime of such criticism, hearing things like that can be enough to make a person want to quit.  Thankfully though, I found that accepting that God made each person unique with a unique calling, plus embracing the uniqueness of myself & my calling has made me capable of ignoring the critics.


This goes for you as well, Dear Reader!  You have nothing to be ashamed of!  If you too are kind of quirky, embrace it!  Enjoy all of the unique things that make you, you!  It’s a good thing not to blend in!  And if people judge you for it, ignore them.  They probably are just too afraid to stand out.  Or, they could be narcissists, just wanting to squish anything special out of those around them.  In any case, ignore the critics & be the special, unique person God has created you to be!


Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

11 responses to “Being Quirky

  1. Cindy Patterson

    I too have learned to embrace my quirkiness!!

    Sent from my iPhone


    Liked by 2 people

  2. I found this to be a beautiful post. It blessed me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This really hit home. I was criticized for my “differences” (anything that my N parents and siblings weren’t interested in) and never encouraged to pursue my own interests. But I didn’t allow them to keep me from those things that were important to me. Eventually I was proficient enough in some areas to be able to offer practical advice, but it was ignored or ridiculed even when it could have benefited them or their children. Their view of me as the family scapegoat wouldn’t allow them to acknowledge that I had something of value to offer to others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s so sad, Suzanne, yet so typical in narcissistic families. Amazing isn’t it, how cruelly some families can treat their own? I’m so sorry for what you’ve experienced.

      I always thought of my mother in-law as the Borg from Star Trek, but looking back, my mother was much the same way. They expected me to be just like them. It was like they couldn’t grasp I wasn’t like them, so they would just shame me for my differences & attempt to make me change. Like the Borg said, “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.” That seemed to be their motto. Like, one time I mentioned to my mother in-law I hate cooking. (Yes, I do it, but I get NO joy from it). A couple of months later at Christmas, she & the sisters in-law all gave me cooking stuff. Utensils, cookbooks, food… it was so insulting to me but that’s just how they are. Be like us! Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated or we will shame you. It’s sad to me when people are so threatened by differences when there is no threat there.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t forget Vincent Van Gogh! Always criticized & ostracized because of his uniqueness. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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