Abusers destroy their victim’s self-esteem. The more completely they can destroy that, the more completely they can rule their victim. Yet in spite of the destruction, many victims reach a point of breaking away from their abuser, whether the person is a spouse, friend or parent.
Unfortunately, that only is the beginning. So much damage is done, especially to the self-esteem. That low self-esteem causes all kinds of problems for a victim, including believing that she is unworthy of care. Abusers make sure their victims know that they don’t matter, which means their pain doesn’t matter either. That false belief can follow a person for years even after the abuse has ended.
So many victims don’t believe they deserve to be cared for or even validated, when nothing could be further from the truth! They are easy to spot too- they are the ones saying their situation “wasn’t so bad,” or, “So & So had it much worse than me,” or even, “It was only mental/sexual abuse.”
Dear Reader, today I want you to know that you *do* matter! Your abuser was absolutely wrong! You deserve to have your pain acknowledged & validated! It doesn’t matter if someone else “had it worse” than you- abuse is painful & destructive, period!
I know it’s hard to really understand that you matter after years of being told you don’t, but it’s the truth! God has a purpose for everyone & everything in this world, which includes you. You matter & God loves you!
If you truly want to heal, you need to start by understanding that you have been through some terrible things. Acknowledge that rather than saying it wasn’t a big deal or someone else had it worse. What was done to you was wrong! You matter, & you didn’t deserve to have those horrible things done to you.
Also, please remember how much God loves you. Healing is the hardest thing you may do in your life- you need His love & support. He truly will help you to cope & even to learn to love yourself.
Romans 8:35-39 “35 Who shall ever separate us from the love of [a]Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 Just as it is written and forever remains written, “For Your sake we are put to death all day long; We are regarded as sheep for the slaughter.” 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through Him who loved us [so much that He died for us]. 38 For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (AMP)
Cynthia, Thanks for your ministry, your honesty, truthfulness and compassion!! You’ve touched my life in many positive uplifting ways. Sometimes I do beat myself up but your words will help me make 2017 a better year. Hopefully one with less flashbacks and triggers. Moving Forward towards a better life!! ❤
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Thank you so very much for what you said.. you’ve absolutely made my day! ❤
Wishing you a very happy & blessed 2017!
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I totally agree with dancingpalmtrees. I hope so many more hurting abused people will find your blog in 2017 and find some answers to their sufferings ✨
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Thank you so much! All this praise from you two is going to go to my head! lol Thank you for making my day. ❤
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You are serving so many so faithfully Cynthia you deserve everything good 🏅
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Aww. Now you made me cry! lol Thank you so much maria! ❤
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I immediately got a verse of scripture for you. That is Jabez’ prayer in 1. Chronicles 9-10
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I actually had to look it up- it’s been a long time since I read the book of that title. I couldn’t remember what it was. Lovely.. *sigh*
Anyway it is a wonderful prayer. Thank you so much for sharing that. I really needed that today. ❤
1 Chronicles 4:10 King James Version (KJV)
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
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I got to know it at bible school 25 years ago and it was taught as an example of faith in spite of the awful situation of having had these cursed words from his mother. It says I’m verse nine that he was more honorable than his brothers so his prayer worked.
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Sounds like a very good teaching!
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When we have bad things coming against us its good to be reminded to keep our faith intact even if we think it looks difficult
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It really is! It can be hard to do but you must make yourself cling to your faith! I don’t know how people get through hard times without faith, quite honestly. Even with it, I have trouble sometimes Without? I’d be completely lost & despondent.
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I don’t understand either and especially people who have known the Lord and then live as if that never happened. So sad
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It’s extremely sad!
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I am standing in faith for three of my four adult children to remember the faith of their childhood and to put down strife
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Standing with you!! ❤
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I needed someone to share this with as it’s been like this for years. Thank you Cynthia we will stand together in our fights and I believe that 2017 will be a good year for us as it’s the Jewish year of Jubilee where we will receive things we had lost
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You’re so welcome! ❤
Very cool! I didn't realize that! Good to know! 2017 has to be a great year then! 🙂
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