Yesterday, I went to the doctor. The nurse I saw was new to this office. She seemed very friendly, thorough & pleasant, which was a nice surprise. Many nurses there who came & went over the years were far from any of those things. (Not all were bad of course, but there have been a few rather mean ones.).
While the experience wasn’t terribly unpleasant, one thing really ticked me off. She was judgmental.
I admit, I do need to lose some weight, about 20-25lbs. Not a lot, but my word.. the way this nurse & others I’ve came into contact with at that office act, you’d think I need to be hoisted out of my bed with a crane! She told me how I need to start making healthy choices for a change. Really?? How does she know I don’t? Because of the extra pounds? Just because I carry some extra weight doesn’t mean I live on pizza & burritos. In fact, I had a small amount of cottage cheese this morning & nothing else until I came home from the office after 2. This is pretty typical eating behavior for me.
Also, my blood pressure was unusually high today, & I got a lecture about that & how I need to see a doctor asap. A doctor can give me meds to fix me right up, she said. I told her before she took it that I had a panic attack on the way to the office, so of course it was going to be elevated & my pulse racing. She told me again to see a doctor & take care of this, he’ll give me pills that can fix the C-PTSD, blah blah. And, losing some weight would help my blood pressure too. All I need to do is go window shopping (she said she LOVES window shopping- I hate it), walk around the mall, walk to the stores sometimes instead of driving (I live on a major highway- that’s just dangerous), & put down the chips & dip (she said she loves that- it’s not an issue for me like it sounds like it is for her).
What got me was how she just assumed such things.. assumed I snarf down chips & dip constantly, assumed I can get out with no trouble & assumed that a doctor can give me a pill to fix my C-PTSD. Thankfully I’ve developed a pretty thick skin to judgmental people. I could feel shame starting to kick in, but quickly realized it was wrong. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Shame is what judging makes a person feel. A deep shame that something is extremely wrong with them or that they are stupid, ugly, fat, disgusting, unworthy, unlovable, etc etc. If you’re judging someone, this is exactly what you are doing to them. You’re making them feel all of those horrible things. It’s not right! Would you want to feel that way?! No? Then why do it to someone else? It’s cruel & there is no good reason for it! God doesn’t want us to judge each other, yet people do it on a daily basis, even Christians. In fact, as an adult child of a narcissistic parent, it can be very easy to be judgmental. We grow up watching our narcissistic parents judge, criticize & ridicule others & imitate that behavior once we grow up.
If you realize you judge people, just stop. It’s not right, it causes people unnecessary pain & there is absolutely no reason to do it! In fact, I’d like to encourage you, Dear Reader, to ask God to show you if you’re judgmental & if so, to help you to stop.