The Little Things Can Be A Big Help

Song of Solomon 2:15  “Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.”  (KJV)

 

This Scripture came into my mind recently.  So often, little things can steal our joy.  A good mood can be ruined easily by someone’s insensitive, cutting criticism.  A financial blessing can be spoiled when a person learns how much they’ll have to pay in taxes.

 

However, the reverse is true too.  Something bad can be reversed by something small yet positive.

 

If you’re having a bad day, yet a handsome stranger smiles at you, does that not improve your day?  It certainly does mine.  Or, when you put your hand in your pocket to find a few dollars you didn’t know were there, would that not brighten your day at least a little?

 

When you’ve been through some awful things in your life, it’s easy to cling to the negative while ignoring the positive.  Especially if you’ve grown up with at least one narcissistic parent.  They are truly the most negative people you can meet- if there is a bad way to look at a situation, they’ll find it.  And, they train their children to do the same thing.  It can be a hard habit to break, but it is well worth it.

 

I’m not one to advocate being overly positive & optimistic, because people who are out of balance that way tend to be disappointed constantly.  However, I do encourage people to be realistic & yet still positive.  Sometimes, things just stink & nothing can make it better.  However, there are also many more times when your situation stinks but there are tiny blessings around you that can help you to get through it.

 

God has been showing me lately that good can be found in a great deal of negative situations.  Flashbacks & nightmares even have their purpose.  Yes, they’re incredibly  awful at the time they happen, but once they’re done, if I look at them, I realize they often show me areas where I need more healing.  I believe they happen when they do because God basically says, “Now is the time to face this.”  Every time I do, I make another step towards healing.

 

I’ve also noticed that when I’m very depressed or upset about something, my cats will do silly things or snuggle me more than usual.  To me, that is a wonderful blessing because even in my worst moods, they can make me smile.

 

The point is, Dear Reader, that there are often silver linings in even the darkest clouds, & those silver linings can help get you through.  Not to make us overly optimistic to the point of being foolish, but to help strengthen us when we need it the most.  If you’re having trouble finding those silver linings, then by all means, ask God to help you to be aware of them.  He will!  Be sure to notice everything, even the tiniest things, because God has sent them to help you!  Even something small like noticing the blooms on a majestic magnolia tree in the middle of summer.. as common as that is, it’s still a beautiful thing to see if you love magnolias.  Maybe God put you in the path of that lovely tree to bring you a little joy at the specific time you needed it.  Enjoy it.  Revel in it.  It’s a gift from God just for you.

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11 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Christian Topics and Prayers, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mental Health, Narcissism

11 responses to “The Little Things Can Be A Big Help

  1. Cindy

    I just wanted to suggest a gratitude journal as well.Write down every little thing you are thankful for that day…everything counts!You had a good hair day,talked to or saw a friend,wore your fav outfit,had something you really liked for dinner…that kind of thing.When you write it all down and review it,you can see it really adds up 🙂
    Narcs are notoriously negative.They try to drag you down.I recall my dad doing this,esp on weekends.He should have been the happiest,most thankful person around,but he chose to be negative and not appreciate all God gave him.So I try to be just the opposite

    Liked by 2 people

    • Cindy

      Forgot to mention,there is nothing like the blessing of a pet who is in tune with you!

      Like

    • jarwithaheavylid

      I agree. Gratitude and acceptance is the only way to heal. A gratitude diary is a great way.

      Like

    • That is so very true! Those little things really add up faster than you might think.

      They are extremely negative (then accuse us of being negative- my mother did that until she stopped speaking to me @@).

      Ick.. it must be depressing to be like your dad, finding all kinds of negative instead of positive.

      Don’t get me started on the pets.. I couldn’t agree more! They are completely wonderful little blessings, especially when they’re in tune with us. 🙂

      Like

  2. Yanno, I admit, I stink about having a gratitude journal because I don’t remember to write in it daily. But, I do have a journal (that I never write in on a regular basis..oops) & mention the good stuff in it often. I also mention the bad stuff in it. That has been a tremendous help to me. Writing gives you such a clarity & validation, on both good & bad things. I really think journals are a fantastic way to encourage yourself as well as to vent about the bad stuff.

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    • Cindy

      That’s ok,even when I don’t feel like writing,I still try to think over the day,and think of what I’m thankful for.
      I agree with writing the bad stuff,it feels like you got it out of you.I have even wrote and thrown it away,so I feel like it a symbol of ‘gone’.
      I’ve often wondered if my dad has some degree of depression…he and my mom both had good jobs,nice house,healthy kids,decent cars to drive…they lacked for nothing.I went to church like he wanted when I lived there,but I often wondered why he went,if he wasn’t going to be loving or thankful to God

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      • Have you ever burned it when you wrote the bad stuff out? I did that a few times.. oddly, it felt cleansing somehow watching the paper go up in smoke.

        Maybe he did have depression. If you think about it, when a couple are both narcissists, they’re both perpetrators as well as victims. It’d make sense for him to be depressed since victims of narcissistic abuse tend to be.

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        • Cindy

          I haven’t, but that is a great idea! Thanks.
          I think my mom perpetuated him;she was hypomanic from her thyroid all her life,and she would put all these crazy ideas into his head.I’m sure he knew she wasn’t quite right,still,it tolls on you,I know.
          Hub has made excuses for our dads in the past,saying they were worried about money,that’s why they acted the way they did.I call bull on that one.Both of them could have been millionares,and I think they still would have behaved the same way,Nothing makes someone like that happy,unfortunately

          Like

          • You’re welcome!

            That sounds feasible. It must’ve been rough living with your mom’s hypomanic ways. :/ I don’t envy you!

            Yea, I call bull as well. Lots of people are stressed about money & aren’t total jerks or abusive.

            You reminded me of my ex mother in-law. Her relationship with her mother was very strained. Thankfully, she lived across the country from us Anyway when my ex & I lived with his parents, his mom would vent to me about her mom sometimes. One thing she said about her mom always sticks with me “She isn’t happy unless she’s miserable.” She described so many people very well in that statement! It sounds like your dad might be one of them. 😦

            Like

            • Cindy

              Ds went to stay with them when my mom was sick.My dad was so awful about complaining,he ended up coming back home.He said he just couldn’t take it any more.That’s pretty much the way he was when I was growing up,so I don’t think it was my mom being sick that caused him to act that way.
              He learned his lesson,though,and doesn’t complain around him anymore,since he doesn’t want to live alone

              Like

              • Unbelievable. I know we all complain & have awful, “everything sucks” moods sometimes. But when that is a way of life, something is really wrong. Wow.

                Glad he learned his lesson at least with your son!

                Like

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