Since many children of narcissistic parents are introverted, I thought I would share this for you, my fellow introverts.
I’ve seen a great deal lately about introverts & how people try to get us out of our shell. Teachers tell parents that although their child is a good student, she doesn’t participate enough. Friends say you “need to get out more” or suggest ways you can incorporate more people into your daily life. Things like this can leave the introvert feeling bad about herself, feeling flawed because she prefers to read over attending big parties. This is so wrong!
People often fail to realize is being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re broken. Introversion isn’t a disease in need of a cure or a horrible flaw in need of improvement. Introversion is simply a personality trait, like having a good sense of humor.
Introverts don’t hate people. Introverts hate spending a great deal of time around people. There is a difference.
While extroverts get energy by being around people, introverts get energy by being alone. The way an extroverts feel after attending a party is how an introvert can feel after spending an afternoon alone, lost in a good book. Same results, just different means of getting those results. One is no better or worse than the other, simply different.
If you’re an introvert, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! I know it can be hard, but ignore those who try to make you feel “wrong” or “broken” because you’d rather spend your afternoon with a book than surrounded by people. If you have friends who make you feel that way, then maybe it’s time to find new friends. People who don’t judge or criticize you, try to change you & accept you the way you are are a true blessing. I have been blessed with people like this in my life. My best friend & I are extremely compatible, because when we hang out, neither of us gets offended if the other says, “I need some introvert time.. mind if we call it a day?” We understand each other’s introverted nature, & although we always have fun together, we also know sometimes alone time is our best friend. If you’re an introvert, you need at least one friend like this!
Dear Reader, I hope you embrace your introverted nature rather than hate it. There is no shame in being an introvert whatsoever. Enjoy it! Introverts unite! (in small groups.. for very limited periods of time..lol)
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
After a church service some years ago, an old friend came up to me who I hadn’t seen for years. I was heavily pregnant, had a toddler to look after, and my husband was working away from home. My friend and I were chatting away, and my brother came up and interrupted by telling my friend that I didn’t go out enough! (This is what my nmother had been saying.) My friend ignored him and we carried on chatting. I was quite happy in the evenings, at the time, to go to bed just after I’d put first born to bed.
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So many narcissists are extroverts, it seems to me. Not all, but a good percentage. They just can’t seem to handle when people are different than they are, including being introverted rather than extroverted. It’s frustrating!!
I think it’s awesome you & your friend ignored your brother’s comment! There’s nothing wrong with you for being that way! I’m extremely introverted & love my alone time too.
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I was always told I need to talk more.I think it’s more imprt to listen.
If I was inside,my dad told me I needed to go outside,and get out of the house.(And do what,stand in the yard?).He tells me I don’t get out of the house and go places enough.I’m happy like I am.He and my mom were always on the go.That’s not me.
And many other times he would say I was not ‘sociable’ enough.Like if one of their friends came by that I didn’t know.
He tried to get me to join a group of kids playing I didn’t even know one time.That’s just dumb.You never know who’s a bully or who will accept you.
I think we all have to operate within the limits we feel comfortable
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I think you’re absolutely right. So few people respect kids’ introversion! Teachers tell parents to make their kids participate more, parents try to push their kids into playing with other kids.. it’s annoying. At least as adults we can set boundaries for ourselves & not care what others think about them.
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Hello Cynthia, I really enjoy reading your blog. I have been through narc abuse myself and would love to share awareness about the topic. I have started a YouTube channel and plan to write a blog about it. Would you be interested in joining me on my channel? Or maybe starting your own? Do let me know. Thanks!
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Wow.. how flattering you would ask me that! Thank you!
I have toyed with the idea for a while now of having my own youtube channel. I haven’t done it only because I have horrible anxiety about being on camera (my narcissistic mother instilled in me that I hate having my picture taken & am ugly- it’s an issue I’ve never really dealt with since others seemed more important, yanno?). Not to mention I write better than I speak.. lol But in spite of these things, I’d kinda like to at least try it anyway..
What exactly would you need from me to join you on your youtube channel? If you prefer, feel free to email me so we can talk about it more privately. My email is CynthiaBaileyRug@aol.com
Looking forward to hearing from you! ❤
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