Recently, God began dealing with me about something. I tend to say yes too quickly. I agree to help people or do favors when I’m tired or busy way too often. He put in my heart that just because something is good, doesn’t mean it’s good for me.
This makes a lot of sense to me. There have been plenty of times I decided to focus on my latest book, yet didn’t do it because someone needed something from me. Not that what they needed was anything bad, nor is it bad to help someone, but for me, I should have focused on my writing instead. Other times, I wasn’t feeling well & just needed to rest, yet didn’t because someone said they needed me.
Does this sound familiar to you, Dear Reader? Do you do the same things?
I’d venture to say it’s pretty common with adult children of narcissistic parents. We were trained from birth to put ourselves last, & that training doesn’t stop just because we’re grown up. We’re also told it’s selfish to put ourselves first. Taking care of others above ourselves has become such a habit, often it happens without even thinking. We simply do it automatically. We may do it even when everything in us says, “NOOO!!!” just because it’s what we feel we’re supposed to do.
Today I want to encourage you to have more healthy boundaries & balance. It’s certainly good to put others ahead of yourself sometimes, but only in balance. You deserve to be your priority too! There is no shame in taking care of yourself or your duties. In fact, it’s a must to do so.
Starting to do this can be difficult after a lifetime of being so out of balance, I know. I recommend prayer as the best place to start, as usual. Ask God to help you know what you should say yes to & what you should say no to. He will! That is what I’m doing, & so far, so good. I slipped up by not praying this immediately, as soon as I realized what God wants to teach me, & ended up saying yes to something I probably shouldn’t have. Since, I prayed for God’s help & things are going better.
And remember Dear Reader, just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s necessarily good for you. xoxo
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
This is a simple but important phrase to remember, and I will.
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In my recovery and learning about boundaries, I have been taught that saying “no” is self-care. As well, “no” is a complete sentence and does not require an explanation. This was all difficult to understand at first, but does become so freeing.
It is so true, that just because something is good, it does not necessarily equate to being good for us at this time or place. There are many good things that could use our time and energy but really we need to let God show us what that means for us every day. When I began my recovery, I prayed daily, “God what should my recovery look like today,” because even though there were so many good and positive choices to make, I couldn’t possibly do them all, for myself or others.
Blessings to you for this confirmation and reminder!
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Nice name, cynthia! lol
You are so right! No is good self care sometimes & requires no further explanation. Tough lessons for an adult children of narcissists to learn, but so incredibly important too!
What a wise thing to pray! Thank you for sharing! ❤
Thank you! Blessings to you as well!
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