Purging Of Repressed Emotions

Since I have been no contact with my parents, strange but good things have been happening.  One of those things is God has helped me to get in touch with the negative emotions I had stuffed inside for years.

 

I’ve had a lot of nightmares, repressed memories & flashbacks to deal with, especially in the last few months.  While it hasn’t been fun by any stretch, it’s been a very good thing.  I’ve been able to remember things I hadn’t thought of in a long time, then deal with them.  This has enabled me to make great strides in healing.  I feel freer & even physically lighter, as odd as that may sound.  I feel cleansed of things I didn’t even realized I needed cleansing from.

 

I can’t help but thinking that this is happening as a result of going no contact.  I noticed this has happened to me after being no contact with my parents for several months & also years before after going no contact with my narcissistic mother in-law & sisters in-law.

 

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist- be they your parent, sibling, spouse or anyone- so much of your thinking is taken up by that person.  Either you’re trying to find ways to appease her to avoid her rage, or survive the relationship with your sanity in tact.  Either way, you simply don’t have time to cope with the constant wounds inflicted on you by her abuse.  You’re functioning in survival mode.

 

Once the narcissist is out of your life, it takes some time for your mind to feel safe enough to stop functioning in survival mode.  When it does though, finally, it seems to demand that you work on all those issues you weren’t able to face due to constant trauma.

 

If you too are faced with nightmares, flashbacks &/or repressed memories after going no contact, please don’t panic, Dear Reader.  Your brain may be doing as mine has done- it stopped functioning in survival mode & wants to be healed.  I would suggest going with it.  Work on your healing from narcissistic abuse however helps you.  Pray.  See a therapist.  Whatever works for you.  After all, maybe one of the reasons for you being out of that toxic relationship is so you can heal.

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6 Comments

Filed under Abuse and the Healing Journey, Mental Health, Narcissism

6 responses to “Purging Of Repressed Emotions

  1. ibikenyc

    Thank you for posting this.

    It’s given me a huge DUH moment. No WONDER I don’t feel “right” yet: I’m still here.

    At the same time, if I’ve made all the progress while in the thick of it, being on my own is gonna feel like a cakewalk!

    WOO-HOO!

    Liked by 1 person

    • How can you feel “right” in the midst of it? You seem like you’re doing amazingly well, especially considering you’re in the situation but I can certainly understand why you would feel as you do. It’s pretty much a miracle you don’t doubt your sanity on an hourly basis!

      On your own, you’ll thrive!! It may not be easy sometimes but guessing you’re right & it’ll feel like a cakewalk! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. kpaol

    the last part of your post about living in survival mode makes me wonder if that is why I am struggling so much to allow my repressed emotions to come up and out? Something new for me to reflect on – if its more comfortable for me to be in survival mode and not feel? but its no way to live… its not the abundant life God said I could have only existing… I can’t seem to cross this bridge though… does that make sense…

    Like

    • It makes a lot of sense. It very well could be that. Survival mode is what’s familiar to you, & facing those repressed emotions is scary stuff. Or, it could be habit. It can be hard to break away from survival mode when that’s been your way of life forever, yanno?

      Liked by 1 person

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