Many narcissists are incredibly sloppy. Their homes & cars are dirty & disorganized. There are several possible reasons for this.
Often, overt narcissists feel they are above doing mundane chores such as washing their car or cleaning their home. They expect their parent or spouse to take care of such trivial matters. Covert narcissists will do these things in order to show their lowly status so you will pity them. See what their overtly narcissistic spouse makes them do?? Poor covert narcissist…
Overt narcissists also enjoy the power trip of making someone else clean up after them. They enjoy the feeling of power they get from making anyone do or feel anything, quite frankly, & having someone clean up after them is just a part of that. Power in any form equals narcissistic supply.
Being messy means people don’t want to come into your personal space. This can work well for the covert narcissist since they are often more introverted than their extroverted counterpart, the overt narcissist.
It can be a show of dominant behavior if someone is messy in another person’s space. It shows that the narcissist is taking over someone else’s space or is exercising dominance over the space. My ex husband was incredibly sloppy around our home & cars even knowing how much it bothered me. He said he didn’t mind the mess, which obviously was all that mattered to him. No amount of begging & pleading would make him stop being a slob. Looking back, I believe it was simply a way of extending his dominance. Also, my mother was a terrible housekeeper when I was a kid. It bothered my father. So much so, he once had me ask her to clean the house for my birthday gift (the result was her screaming at me & the house stayed filthy. He never acknowledged how wrong it was to put me in this position). I believe this was her way of dominating the home as well as her attitude of being above doing housework.
If you’re in a relationship with a messy, sloppy narcissist, make no mistake, it has a purpose. Everything narcissists do has a purpose, which includes being slobs. If you’re frustrated by this, that is supply for the narcissist.
Unfortunately I have yet to find any way to deal with this behavior successfully. All I can tell you is to pray about it & ask God for wisdom & creative ways to deal with the situation. And, remember, it’s ultimately narcissistic supply, so provide as little as possible. Respond, don’t react. Hide your anger or hurt in their presence. The less supply you provide a narcissist, the greater the chance that person will get bored with attempting to upset or control you.