Something I’ve noticed about survivors of narcissistic abuse is many become very sensitive. The smallest thing can hurt or devastate them. It’s quite understandable, really. After being verbally abused so much, they probably have reached their limit, & just can’t tolerate any more insults, invalidation, etc.
Unfortunately, they are often also very sad people, feeling abused or mistreated when no such thing was intended.
Does this describe you? If so, then I urge you to consider making a change!
Try to remember to respond rather than react. What I mean is stop for a moment before feeling or saying anything. Think- did this person say something hurtful to you just after losing a loved one? Being fired? Stubbing their toe on the coffee table? Then they aren’t trying to hurt you out of maliciousness- they’re in a bad mood. It’s nothing personal! Remind yourself it’s nothing personal- the person is just in a bad mood & you just happened to be there. If you aren’t sure, then ask God to tell you the truth. Is it you or is the other person having a bad day?
On the other hand, if the person is deliberately trying to hurt you & you know this, then you know what? It’s also not personal. This person has issues & for whatever reason, finds you a good victim. You haven’t done anything to deserve this- the other person simply has problems. I’ve reminded myself of this with my narcissistic mother repeatedly. She got mad at me when a friend of hers complemented me once, & spent the rest of our time together making me miserable. It hurt, but I reminded myself this is how she is! She is so insecure, she can’t handle anyone in her presence getting any positive attention from anyone, so she will do her best to ruin the positive attention by being demeaning & hateful.
I know this can be hard to do with narcissists, but it does get easier in time. The more you learn about NPD, the more you understand that they have big problems, & you are NOT one of them! I’m speaking from experience- this really is true! I feel like thanks to realizing my mother has problems, I’m a narcissistic abuse navy seal by now. It takes quite a bit to phase me anymore. After my mother spending hours & hours screaming at me, telling me what a horrible person I am, really, what else is there?! A stranger flipping me off in traffic isn’t going to upset me for more than a moment. Someone obviously hating me & trying to bully me? Yea, whatever…. I’ve dealt with bigger & badder & survived.
Most of all, keep a good relationship with God as your top priority. Know you can go to Him anytime, asking for help. In fact, ask Him other ways to help you not to take things so personally.
If you’re over sensitive, then there isn’t something wrong with you. It’s just proof you’ve been through way too much pain. But, you deserve better than going through life hurt all of the time just because someone acted insensitively to you! Please, for your own sake, Dear Reader, try to put into practice what I’ve mentioned here. Your life can be much happier for it!
6 responses to “Are You Oversensitive?”
Good post. Very wise words.
I used to be so sensitive, that one friend said I was like a person with third degree burns all over my body — the slightest touch would send me into agony.
I am not nearly so sensitive anymore, thanks to the tremendous healing I have gotten from neurofeedback therapy. Awhile back, someone on Twitter insulted me, in a very childish way. In no way, was this person’s insult justified.
But instead of getting insulted, I laughed. And then I tweeted “Lol” in response to this person, and I even clicked “like” on his rude comment. I liked it, because his comment had made me laugh!
That was a totally new experience for me!
That is a great analogy. It’s understandable too! After so much criticism & verbal abuse, a person can only take so much more.
Good for you on healing so much! That is wonderful! ❤
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It only took me half a century, give or take a few years, lol.
Is that ALL?! lol
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I still struggle with this because I begin to over analyze everything with the action or comment. I am happy to say I have gotten better especially with my husband. He is very frank about things and when he is mad about something, in a bad mood about something- I catch myself not reacting and just backing off. I don’t wind up mad and he gets over it. I also don’t keep the memory of the incident. Keeping it is just like harboring a grudge. Actually it is since later it comes up again.
He may still be mad cause it was something I broke but when he brings it up later I’m not upset and reacting I’m just responding, I apologize and we move on.
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That is very good progress!