The older I get, the more I value comfort. The cozy feel of freshly washed bed linens, the warmth of raspberry or lemon herbal tea on a cold day, the look of a fresh manicure & pedicure are some things that come to my mind that bring me comfort. I spend a lot of time in my bedroom because it’s very comfortable & cozy, which always feels good to me.
Indulging in comforting things is one way to care for yourself. It makes you feel safe & secure- something most of us raised by narcissistic parents are very unfamiliar with feeling, & we need to become familiar with.
It also helps you to feel loved, when you are shown love. Even when that act of love comes from yourself, it still feels good.
What makes you feel comforted? Below are some possibilities if you need help coming up with ideas.
- gardening
- going for a walk in the woods
- doing something creative- draw, paint, crochet, make something with clay, etc.
- listening to music
- watching reruns of an old TV show or movie
- reading
- writing
- baking
- drinking herbal teas
- getting a manicure &/or pedicure
Cynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author 
For years I considered spending money on myself for things like a mani-pedi, fresh flowers, or books to be a waste. But since going NC and beginning the healing process my attitude has changed. Now I see these things as necessary to re-establishing my sense of self worth. I’ve come to see that I do deserve the comfort they bring to me. I’ve had so little comfort in my life and it’s long past time for that to end.
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I can relate so much to what you said. I’ve felt exactly the same way. Narcissistic parents raise their children to believe they aren’t worth the $15 for a new book or whatever. Thank God for showing you otherwise, because you are worth it! Especially after a lifetime of little to no comfort, little comforting things & things that bring joy are extremely important!
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I’ve learned to do this very recently, in those few precious moments to myself I have a cup of tea, literally put my feet up and breathe. What an amazing thing to actually learn to take care of yourself!
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Good for you!!! 🙂
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