Recently, I posted a message to those who support narcissists, their flying monkeys. That post got a lot of attention. There are a lot of flying monkeys out there & even more people wanting to learn about them.
I’m sure many people who deal with flying monkeys also feel guilt or second guess their decision to go no contact with their narcissist. We all do at first. It’s normal. This post is for those of you feeling that way, to help you to see exactly why you shouldn’t feel any guilt or second guess yourself when the flying monkeys come knocking on your door.
Most flying monkeys are covert narcissists, getting their own narcissistic supply from trying to manipulate you on behalf of your narcissist. And, being true to their narcissistic nature, they’re only interested in themselves. Do you really think someone who refuses to consider anyone but themselves is capable of giving any good advice?
Flying monkeys are incredibly bossy. They think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell you what to do, even if they don’t know you or haven’t spoken to you in years. Why listen to someone who is not only incredibly rude but also obviously uncaring about others? Do you really think someone like that has your best interests at heart?
There’s also the fact that flying monkeys only know what the narcissist has told them about your situation. This means what they think are facts are lies, since narcissists lie about everything, especially if there’s a chance they can make themselves look good & someone else look bad. How can someone who knows no truth of your complex situation give you sound advice about it?
Flying monkeys also never ask for your side of the story. Rarely, they may say they want you to talk to them about it, but if you say anything, they tell you that you’re wrong & why. This clearly proves the flying monkey isn’t interested in the truth or this relationship being healthy! They simply want to manipulate you into resuming the relationship with the narcissist as it was, abuse & all.
They want you to subject yourself to abuse by being in a relationship with a narcissist. How does that make any sense!? It is a sick, twisted, & evil person who wants another person to be abused! Normal people want others to be happy & safe, not abused.
Another thing to consider: why do flying monkeys think your well-being is so unimportant anyway? What makes these people think that the narcissist is so much more important than you?
Flying monkeys also think you’re the one that needs to fix this. How? Who knows? They don’t even know how you can do that, but they still think you should know & fix it. Besides, how can only one person fix any relationship? Any person with more than three brain cells knows that it takes two to make a relationship work, not one. One person alone can’t make it happen!
Dear Reader, after reading this I hope you see why you have no valid reasons to feel guilty or second guess yourself when the flying monkeys come after you. You do whatever you believe is right in order to protect yourself! Narcissistic abuse is incredibly destructive & painful- NO ONE should tolerate it no matter what & who thinks they should, even if it’s because the abuser is “family”.