When Flying Monkeys Attack

Recently, I posted a message to those who support narcissists, their flying monkeys.  That post got a lot of attention.  There are a lot of flying monkeys out there & even more people wanting to learn about them.


I’m sure many people who deal with flying monkeys also feel guilt or second guess their decision to go no contact with their narcissist.  We all do at first.  It’s normal.  This post is for those of you feeling that way, to help you to see exactly why you shouldn’t feel any guilt or second guess yourself when the flying monkeys come knocking on your door.


Most flying monkeys are covert narcissists, getting their own narcissistic supply from trying to manipulate you on behalf of your narcissist.  And, being true to their narcissistic nature, they’re only interested in themselves.  Do you really think someone who refuses to consider anyone but themselves is capable of giving any good advice?


Flying monkeys are incredibly bossy.  They think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell you what to do, even if they don’t know you or haven’t spoken to you in years.  Why listen to someone who is not only incredibly rude but also obviously uncaring about others?  Do you really think someone like that has your best interests at heart?


There’s also the fact that flying monkeys only know what the narcissist has told them about your situation.  This means what they think are facts are lies, since narcissists lie about everything, especially if there’s a chance they can make themselves look good & someone else look bad.  How can someone who knows no truth of your complex situation give you sound advice about it?


Flying monkeys also never ask for your side of the story.  Rarely, they may say they want you to talk to them about it, but if you say anything, they tell you that you’re wrong & why.  This clearly proves the flying monkey isn’t interested in the truth or this relationship being healthy!  They simply want to manipulate you into resuming the relationship with the narcissist as it was, abuse & all.


They want you to subject yourself to abuse by being in a relationship with a narcissist.  How does that make any sense!?  It is a sick, twisted, & evil person who wants another person to be abused!  Normal people want others to be happy & safe, not abused.


Another thing to consider: why do flying monkeys think your well-being is so unimportant anyway?  What makes these people think that the narcissist is so much more important than you?


Flying monkeys also think you’re the one that needs to fix this.  How?  Who knows?  They don’t even know how you can do that, but they still think you should know & fix it.  Besides, how can only one person fix any relationship?  Any person with more than three brain cells knows that it takes two to make a relationship work, not one.  One person alone can’t make it happen!


Dear Reader, after reading this I hope you see why you have no valid reasons to feel guilty or second guess yourself when the flying monkeys come after you.  You do whatever you believe is right in order to protect yourself!  Narcissistic abuse is incredibly destructive & painful- NO ONE should tolerate it no matter what & who thinks they should, even if it’s because the abuser is “family”.



Filed under Mental Health, Narcissism

7 responses to “When Flying Monkeys Attack

  1. Amy

    Thank you for the reminder today. I had a flying monkey phone call around Mother’s Day (surprise, surprise) & this person told me I needed to fix the issue & work it out with “her.” I firmly (but politely) said: “If I could fix this, it would have been fixed 45 years ago!”

    I am NOT the problem.

    It never ceases to amaze me how “the system” consistently works: The emotional abuse is not the problem; talking about it is the problem. And their ability to recruit others to help them abuse is impressive, to say the least.

    No wonder there are so many of us now fighting for our sanity & emotional well being.

    Programmed since birth to never confront the abuse. It is a very heavy load to carry. And I refuse to anymore.

    Thank you again.
    God Bless,


    • HA! Around Mother’s Day huh? Not very original.. lol I like your response though- perfect! That’s true too, although yet another thing these flying monkeys don’t understand. If we could fix it, we would have years ago!

      Isn’t that something how it works? Talking about the abuse is the problem & not the abuse. So backwards!

      It’s incredibly impressive how they gather others to help them abuse. The blind devotion of flying monkeys never fails to amaze me. How anyone can be blindly devoted to anyone is beyond me, let alone a clearly abusive person.

      That is true, it really explains how many of us are fighting for our sanity after living through not only the initial abuse but also abuse by the flying monkeys.

      Thank you for your kind words! May God bless you too! ❤


  2. tess

    Thank u Cymthia or this v enlightening post.

    I didnt realise that flying monkeys are also Narcissists although it did cross my mind that this lady’s Pastor (who ostracised me to shut me up), plus his wife, plus their Elder, plus 2 close and v jealous ex partners of my lesbian narcissist, may have something v wrong with them spiritually eg. …lack of the genuine H Spirit discernment…otherwise how would they not see thru the false persona, the lies and deception?
    If they r all various types of Narcs, well that explains a lot!

    Each has “come after me ” by remaining silent whilst watching me have a breakdown because of the secret intimidation and abuse….they have stood by this bullying lady…..watching her lead worship ministries of various kinds and have encouraged her whilst calling me a judgemental Christian.

    I am strugglin g to take in all this…..still wanting to believe the best of these former friends…it is a nightmare.
    thank u for the reality check Cynthia…i still remain stubbonly naive

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re doing fine, Tess! It’s painful & hard to accept the ugly realities of narcissism. There is also so much to take in- it takes time. You’re learning & growing- be proud of that! ❤


    • ibikenyc

      “. . . whilst calling me a judgemental Christian. . . ”

      Uhh. . . project, much?

      How does ANYONE end up with so little self-awareness?

      I’m so sorry you’re going through this, epecially in a place you no doubt consider a sanctuary.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. tess

    yes abuse in places we expect truth and sanctuary…..such as in our homes and churches, is very sad and must break God’s heart.


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